Where did summer go? Its seems like my oldest son just finished the third grade yesterday, and yet tomorrow is his first day back. Crazy! I feel like I’m not ready (and so, I can’t imagine how he must feel… hopefully more ready than I!)… I’m not ready for back to school night, selling candy bars to the poor unfortunate souls at my office, and working on 4th grade homework and trying to remember how the hell we did “it” when I was in 4th grade. Mostly, I’m not ready for my son to grow another year older. While there’s a big part of me that can’t wait for my boys to grow up so that I can have a grown relationship with them, the other part of me wonders why this is all speeding by so fast (sigh). But alas, the school year is here so I better get myself together. For any other parents out there trying to get into the swing of things again, here are a few of my tips to make the adjustment a little smoother.

• Transition: If your child is anything like mine, there’s gonna be some rough roads ahead! Suddenly he’s going to have to adjust to going to bed a littler earlier, spending less time riding his bike and playing his gameboy, and of course we’ll have to do homework! To help with this, I make sure that they’re in bed a little early each night (I work them back down slowly). Also, if you haven’t imposed this already, I make a rule at home about things like the gameboy. Once homework is done, the gameboy can come out for xx minutes. Over time, he complains less about the rule, but it takes a while. My son’s school also implements 30 minutes of reading each night at home as part of his grade, so I get him back in that habit as early as I can too.
• Homework: Plan ahead and set a designated time for homework. Depending on the age of your child, you will be involved to varying degrees. At least where I am at, homework is now designed to be more of an interaction between parent and student (”Go upstairs and do your homework while I fix Dinner” won’t work for me). Give him/her some time to decompress, so pick a time that allows for downtime before and after homework. I always choose dinner time and we work on it together while I’m cooking.
• The Social Hour: So far, I don’t have to worry about this too much, but I’m sure there’s a bunch of parents out there that do. I can’t imagine what it will be like trying manage my child’s social life in addition to my own! Since I have no experience with this, I’ll tell you what I think I’ll try to do when I get there. I think it’s critical to support and respect his relationships with others, so my hope is that he and I will have a discussion about priorities and understanding that homework and chores must come first. Any parental tips out there on this?
• New Teacher: This year my son has his first male teacher. It’s kinda cool. Regardless of sex, your student is going to have a new teacher which means new rules, new writing styles and new expectations. The most important thing I’ve found here is to communicate with your child everyday about his/her interaction with the new teacher to get a sense for how he perceives things. Then, I make sure to open the lines with the teacher so that I can form my own opinion outside of my child’s. My son is about the most extroverted person I know (besides me!) so depending on the teacher, he is either well received for his energy and enthusiasm or harshly criticized for being “disruptive”. Because of this I try to get to know his teachers very well (as I think all parents should). Keeping yourself informed from both angles will help you sort out any issues that your student might have at school.
• The Cool Factor: “But Mom… All my friends have one! I have to have that, you just don’t understand.” I try to remember how much that mattered to me when I was in school and in this case compromise is key. Understanding the importance of peer approval while still promoting uniqueness and self-expression is crucial. I want my son to be well liked and happy, but I also want him to think for himself. Sometimes I just plain can’t afford what “everyone else” has, and I tell him we need to get something different. But in the event it’s a specific type of folder or backpack or something that I can afford, I ask him to think about whether he wants that one because of others, or if it truly is his favorite. If given the time to rationalize, he often chooses the one he likes. The key is that if we give in to all the things our kids tell us they have to have to fit in, we’re telling them (through our actions) that we want them to be like everyone else; that we want them to do what other people do, wear what other people wear, etc. That’s not a message I want to send to my son.
• Lunches: Yeah, ok so this seems a little trivial but lunches can be tricky! Ever opened your kid’s lunch box from the day before and found the only things missing were the “sweet stuff”? Man, that makes me crazy! I actually have my son help me with making his lunch. Sometimes if we’re doing good, he makes it entirely on his own and I check it later to see what he’s added. Typically I find that if he’s taken the time and energy to make it, he’ll eat it! Other times I just straight up ask, “If I put ____ in your lunch, will you eat it, or will it end up in the garbage? Just be honest. I won’t be angry, I just don’t want to waste food”. He’s pretty honest with me and he’ll tell me if he doesn’t want a banana in his lunch that day. I always prefer “sack lunches” to the hot lunch… not only for the sake of saving money but also for the sake of knowing what is going into my kid’s mouth! I’m pretty big on organic, and I remember what school lunches were like…. worse than bowling ally food if you ask me. If you shop carefully, you can find 100% juice boxes, organic cookies, and other things that will “seem” like goodies to your child, but are a lot better for them then Cheeto’s.
• Rise and Shine: Getting your child up for school can be a nightmare. I have given my son an alarm that is solely for him. When it goes off, he gets up and comes in my room to get me up (bad Mommy!). Now, this doesn’t always work out perfectly, but usually just the fact that it’s going off will get him out of bed faster in the event that I do have to go in his room to tell him to get dressed. Getting yourself up every day is a good thing to be responsible for and Mom can always be there as backup.

Well, that’s my advice. It’s a lot, but when you think about it, having a kid in school is a lot of work! Especially in the first month trying to get back into the groove. These tips should not only help you adjust, but should also help your student. Happy schooling y’all.

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