A cat will do what he needs to do- period. He doesn’t care about you, your feelings, or anything else except what he wants at that moment. He lives his life for himself and no one else. In the human world, we have to worry about respecting people. It’s not as easy for us to make choices for ourselves because we have to think about the consequences of our decisions and how they may affect the people around us. You may want to quit your job today, but you have to think of how that may affect your family tomorrow.
Just because we can’t live our lives as simply and directly as our feline friends, we can still learn from them. There are choices we all want to make but hesitate for a multitude of reasons. A girl wants to cut her hair but doesn’t because her significant other thinks she looks better with it long. A lawyer may want to give up his profession and work as a blackjack dealer but doesn’t because his high-profile friends may judge his decision.
When you are living some aspect of your life because it’s what you believe other’s expect, you’re not being true to yourself. While there are obviously situations that warrant planning and discussion with other people in your life, there are many things we can change simply be letting go of the idea that what someone thinks of us actually matters.
I was married for 6 years. I was with him for nearly 4 years before that. It was a volatile relationship from the start, but I lacked the ability to look at the situation and realize that it wasn’t doing me any good to stay in it. We were married three weeks after our son was born. Things never improved, and I tried many times during those 6 years to talk to people about it, but the response I always got was “You have a family, sometimes you just have to accept what you get and find another way to be happy”, or “Separating the family is the wrong thing to do. You’ll struggle financially and you’ll regret it”. I listened to those people so long that I ended up with another son (and for that I am truly grateful). Still, I was angry, depressed, and resentful for being “stuck” in the place I was in.
Finally, when things were at their worst it hit me- This is my life and I am wasting it by staying in a situation that makes me unhappy. I went against everyone’s expectation and I ended a situation that I knew would have never fulfilled me. It was the best thing I could have ever done, but it took a long time for people to come around. I finally stopped caring about what other people would think if I made a choice for myself instead of “the family”. To be honest, I’m a much better Mother to my kids now because I am happy instead of resentful and depressed.
Your cat has the right idea. This is your life, and you’re the one who has to live it everyday. Make decisions based on what you want and let everything else settle in around you. What people expect of you is usually not what you expect of yourself. If that were true, I would be a lawyer and be married to a millionaire (my Mom’s ultimate dream for me). There’s nothing wrong with following your heart and doing what’s right for you. If it makes you happy, then ultimately the people around you will benefit.
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