As I sat at my desk today, I realized how uninspiring my space is. I mean, aside from a tiny little Buddha and a few well-placed drawings from my kids, there is nothing that makes the space feel… good. It’s boring. In fact the only thing I can really say about my office is it has great potential. I have red and tan walls and that’s at least a start. My window leaves much to be desired though. While other’s in the building have a window that looks outside, my window looks onto what we collectively call the “3:00 cabinet”. It’s the snack center. Yes, that’s right. Every afternoon I get to watch people raid the cabinet for sodas and preztels and other similar tidbits of junk. But here’s the real kicker. Once they have selected their junkfood for the afternoon, they turn around and eat it on a file cabinet that sits directly under my window. So, I not only have the joy of watching them get their food, I get to watch them eat it too. Sometimes I liken the feeling to being at a zoo… but am I on display or are they? (sigh)… I digress.

We spend a fairly good chunk of our lives at work, so why not make the space that we work in something that is peaceful, inspiring, motivating and comfortable? My goal for next week is to Feng Shui and redesign my office space so that I can appreciate those 8-hour days a little bit more. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Before you can do anything else, declutter comes first! I’m a stacker… so decluttering for me is simple. I just have to put away all the stacks of paper I have floating around. I happened to do this the other and a co-worker walked by my office, gasped and said “Are you quitting”? Yes, it’s that bad. Toss out what you don’t need; a gazillion post-its with references to things you can no longer identify, for example, and file away all the stuff that’s hovering.
• Align your desk (if you can) so that it either faces the door or the window. In my case, it already does but I think we can all agree that the window causes some serious energy flow issues. Since my desk is already in the most “efficient” location I’m going to find other feng shui ways to deal with the window. If you can’t align your desk this way, consider placing a mirror above your computer. You should never be facing a wall while working at the computer.
• When you enter your office, the first thing you see should be something that brings you joy. A picture of your kids or a vacation, my little Buddha, a plant- anything that is special to you.
• According to some of the feng shui research I did, plants absorb negative energy (I knew there was a reason I loved plants so much).
• When you decorate, add things that are organic in nature. Plants, wood picture frames, wicker baskets, a fish tank or water fountain… anything that will bring nature into your office.
• Set yourself up with a peaceful screen saver (3D pipes doesn’t count!). Again focus on nature…
• If your employer will allow it, bring a candle to work that you can light in your office. Scent is one thing that can easily and quickly alter my mood. If you’re lucky enough to have a window to the outside world, let some fresh air in!
• Use color. Find a color that moves you and use it to create individuality in your space. Paintings, rugs, and candles are a good starting place. Even desk organization gadgets can be ordered in many colors these days.

On Monday I’ll get started on my feng shui project and try to bring something each day to add to my space. I still have to do something about that window though. My first thought is to get a couple large posters that I can stick together and hang in the window. That way, I’ll have something nice to look at, and so will my junkfood-eating co-workers.

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How is it so easy to find yourself stuck helplessly in a rut of life? One day you wake up, drive to work, do the same things you’ve been doing everyday for what seems like an eternity and you wonder, “How the hell did this happen”? Is this really what the rest of my life is going to be, because if waiting in the line at the Starbuck’s drive-thru on my way to work is the highlight of my day, then something’s gone seriously wrong.

This epiphany… this light bulb… It’s what spurs us to make changes when we’ve become too complacent to make them on a conscious level. And you can’t blame yourself. Everyone gets stuck in the same machine. The cog just keeps on turning and so you just keep on keepin’ on without realizing that your life has become blurry. You go to work. You come home. You watch some TV, surf the web (ahhhh… the good ‘ol decompression chamber). The weekends are filled with yard work, football, “malling” for more stuff that you don’t need and it’s all highlighted by the after-dinner Cinnabon. Why does this happen to so many people? Here’s what I think.

I think that life has become so complicated that we are constantly rushing in our lives and in our minds trying to deal with all the balls we are juggling. I think that life is just too busy, too fast to ever sit and just breathe for a moment. If we make it home from work and can sit and decompress for an hour or two, then we’re doin’ something right. We’ve survived another day… or so we think. There’s no opportunity to stop and think about whether this path is the right one, or if it’s gone off-course. We all work so hard just to stay on top of everything that we zoom right by without even realizing that we’ve missed the point entirely. What’s the point of juggling all those balls? Is it just to juggle them, or was there a reason… a goal? Do you remember the reason or have you just been juggling them because it’s what you did yesterday and you survived yesterday?

I always pick on retirees who have finally reached the point in their lives where they are free to do whatever they want, and all they do is sit at home and go to Costco! Well, now I know why. There so god damn tired of juggling all those balls for the past 30 years that simplicity is in itself the freedom they have been waiting for. Simplicity. What is that?

Making change in your life is a good thing. Yeah… I know that often times you change one thing and suddenly you’ve fractured the solid, placid ground you were standing on. You find yourself in danger of dropping the ball… all of them. Well, guess what? If you drop them all the sky will not fall; your world will not stop. You can sit down and calmly and peacefully examine each and every one of them and decide whether it is worth picking them back up. You can evaluate all the aspects of your life and decide which ones fulfill you and which ones drain you. I suggest that you take the ones that are draining you and you get rid of them as fast as humanly possible. Once you have less to manage, the sky will open up and you’ll begin to see what you may have been missing.

So, I dare you to redefine your life and get rid of the blur. Wake up from your rut and consider where it’s taking you. Reestablish your goals; be certain that there is a reason for all of those balls that you’re juggling. A reason beyond the fear of what will happen if you drop it, that is. And, if it is in fact taking you to exactly where you want to be and everything in your life is fulfilling you then you my friend are my hero! No, my Goddess!

Here are some ideas for making some changes that will inevitably lead to other changes… good ones.

• Wake up early. Whatever time you typically leave the house to go to work, get up an hour and half earlier and take your time. Go sit on your back porch, write in a journal… do something relaxing and let it soak in.
• Say goodbye to your old standby. What is your current decompression tool? TV? Internet? Ditch it… for an hour, for a day, forever. Ditch it long enough to open a door to something new.
• Instead of the mall, get in your car and drive. Don’t have a plan. Don’t have a direction. Just drive and see where you end up. I do this often, and once and I ended up in South Park. The real South Park (Yep, it’s actually a real place).
• Do something you’ve never done before. Force yourself outside of your comfort zone. Go to a rock climbing gym, go skydiving, go race a go-kart (sorry, I’m an adrenaline junkie so that’s where my mind goes). Just being submerged in a different “culture” of people will enlighten you. Skydiving changed my life forever because it awakened me.
• Rough it. Turn off all your electronics for a weekend. Pretend you’re in cabin in the mountains in the middle of nowhere (or preferably, if you can afford it, actually go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere!) and force yourself to live without all our technological dependencies. Once you’ve completed withdrawal and the shakes are gone, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ll see and hear and smell that just wasn’t there before.

Well, that’s all I got… for now. It’s late and I gotta get up in the morning and drive to work… hopefully with a few less balls to juggle.

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The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

~Buddha
(Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)

I am a worrier. I know that often times… ok maybe most times I am worrying about things that really don’t matter to the grand scheme of things. I’ve always been this way, but I work hard at trying to calm those nerves now because I have realized how much energy it takes to be worried all the time.

Everyone worries, but doesn’t it seem like women worry more than men do, or maybe worry about more things? Research has shown that women have lower levels of a brain chemical that influences anxiety. Having less of the chemical, an enzyme called COMT, appears to make a person more anxious and highly strung. This would be expected to make them more anxiety-prone. The NIAAA research found that women scored higher than men in psychological tests which used harm avoidance as a measurement of anxiety.

Regardless of whether or not we actually do worry more than men, it’s still an issue that many of us deal with every day. The average person (men included) spends about 5% of each waking day–about 48 minutes–worrying about one thing or another. The most common sources of worry for Americans are family and relationships, jobs and school, health and finances. Sound familiar? Worry can lead to poor sleep in many cases, with resulting fatigue, restlessness and irritability. But it’s the psychological toll that’s usually most devastating. Worrying all the time can also make it difficult for you to concentrate, cause some nasty headaches and effect your ability to resolve problems… the very thing that could induce more worry!

So, how do we break the habit? I think the first step is just acknowledging that we are worrying too much. Start paying more attention when you catch yourself worrying. What is it your concerned about? Can you resolve it? If you can, then take steps to resolve it and get it off your plate (easier said than done sometimes, I know). If you can’t resolve it, release it. A good friend of mine reminds me that “you can’t control people, places or things”. He’s right, so if you find yourself worrying about what another person is thinking or feeling for example, remind yourself that it’s not your job to worry about the things that you can’t control and let it go!

I would also recommend finding time each day to decompress and release those things that build up in our minds each day. Many times it’s those things we worry about. Write about them, read a book that will calm your nerves, or just listen to some music. Try creating a sacred space for this daily decompression. My previous post on stress also has some good tips on relieving tension; stress and worry are often two sides of the same coin.

Still need some help? Check out this book, “Women Who Worry Too Much” by Holly Hazlett-Stevens. The book addresses the fundamentals of worry: what it is, how it differs from anxiety, and how it can develop into a chronic state of mind. The book also offers strategies for overcoming worry.

Think about what you’re worrying about and ask yourself if it will matter next month, or next year. Chances are it might not even matter tomorrow! I will leave you with one of my grandfather’s favorite saying’s:

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.

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Last week I decided to check out some carnivals that I thought I could contribute something to. I think I found some great ones:

The Total Mind and Body Fitness Carnival hosted by Fitbuff.com is the place to go if you’re looking for some great tips for getting in shape.

The Carnival of Ethics, Values and Personal Finance at Millionaire Mommy Next Door has some great articles on financial issues.

Want to live a real life? Check out  these authentic posts at The Tall Poppy.

Much thanks to these bloggers for hosting such fantastic carnivals!

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This may be old news to some but I just happened to run across it on Lively Women, and thought it was worth sharing here. I love how well it depicts the reality of what goes on in the modeling world. And here we are, everyday women trying to achieve this unrealistic expectation that has been set. It exemplifies what I was getting at in my post about why we should fight the “Cosmo-girl” image.

To see the video, go to Lively Women, or visit YouTube. Thanks to Kristin King for promoting this video; otherwise I might not have found it! Oh, and I guess I should thank Dove for making it…

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