Where did summer go? Its seems like my oldest son just finished the third grade yesterday, and yet tomorrow is his first day back. Crazy! I feel like I’m not ready (and so, I can’t imagine how he must feel… hopefully more ready than I!)… I’m not ready for back to school night, selling candy bars to the poor unfortunate souls at my office, and working on 4th grade homework and trying to remember how the hell we did “it” when I was in 4th grade. Mostly, I’m not ready for my son to grow another year older. While there’s a big part of me that can’t wait for my boys to grow up so that I can have a grown relationship with them, the other part of me wonders why this is all speeding by so fast (sigh). But alas, the school year is here so I better get myself together. For any other parents out there trying to get into the swing of things again, here are a few of my tips to make the adjustment a little smoother.

• Transition: If your child is anything like mine, there’s gonna be some rough roads ahead! Suddenly he’s going to have to adjust to going to bed a littler earlier, spending less time riding his bike and playing his gameboy, and of course we’ll have to do homework! To help with this, I make sure that they’re in bed a little early each night (I work them back down slowly). Also, if you haven’t imposed this already, I make a rule at home about things like the gameboy. Once homework is done, the gameboy can come out for xx minutes. Over time, he complains less about the rule, but it takes a while. My son’s school also implements 30 minutes of reading each night at home as part of his grade, so I get him back in that habit as early as I can too.
• Homework: Plan ahead and set a designated time for homework. Depending on the age of your child, you will be involved to varying degrees. At least where I am at, homework is now designed to be more of an interaction between parent and student (”Go upstairs and do your homework while I fix Dinner” won’t work for me). Give him/her some time to decompress, so pick a time that allows for downtime before and after homework. I always choose dinner time and we work on it together while I’m cooking.
• The Social Hour: So far, I don’t have to worry about this too much, but I’m sure there’s a bunch of parents out there that do. I can’t imagine what it will be like trying manage my child’s social life in addition to my own! Since I have no experience with this, I’ll tell you what I think I’ll try to do when I get there. I think it’s critical to support and respect his relationships with others, so my hope is that he and I will have a discussion about priorities and understanding that homework and chores must come first. Any parental tips out there on this?
• New Teacher: This year my son has his first male teacher. It’s kinda cool. Regardless of sex, your student is going to have a new teacher which means new rules, new writing styles and new expectations. The most important thing I’ve found here is to communicate with your child everyday about his/her interaction with the new teacher to get a sense for how he perceives things. Then, I make sure to open the lines with the teacher so that I can form my own opinion outside of my child’s. My son is about the most extroverted person I know (besides me!) so depending on the teacher, he is either well received for his energy and enthusiasm or harshly criticized for being “disruptive”. Because of this I try to get to know his teachers very well (as I think all parents should). Keeping yourself informed from both angles will help you sort out any issues that your student might have at school.
• The Cool Factor: “But Mom… All my friends have one! I have to have that, you just don’t understand.” I try to remember how much that mattered to me when I was in school and in this case compromise is key. Understanding the importance of peer approval while still promoting uniqueness and self-expression is crucial. I want my son to be well liked and happy, but I also want him to think for himself. Sometimes I just plain can’t afford what “everyone else” has, and I tell him we need to get something different. But in the event it’s a specific type of folder or backpack or something that I can afford, I ask him to think about whether he wants that one because of others, or if it truly is his favorite. If given the time to rationalize, he often chooses the one he likes. The key is that if we give in to all the things our kids tell us they have to have to fit in, we’re telling them (through our actions) that we want them to be like everyone else; that we want them to do what other people do, wear what other people wear, etc. That’s not a message I want to send to my son.
• Lunches: Yeah, ok so this seems a little trivial but lunches can be tricky! Ever opened your kid’s lunch box from the day before and found the only things missing were the “sweet stuff”? Man, that makes me crazy! I actually have my son help me with making his lunch. Sometimes if we’re doing good, he makes it entirely on his own and I check it later to see what he’s added. Typically I find that if he’s taken the time and energy to make it, he’ll eat it! Other times I just straight up ask, “If I put ____ in your lunch, will you eat it, or will it end up in the garbage? Just be honest. I won’t be angry, I just don’t want to waste food”. He’s pretty honest with me and he’ll tell me if he doesn’t want a banana in his lunch that day. I always prefer “sack lunches” to the hot lunch… not only for the sake of saving money but also for the sake of knowing what is going into my kid’s mouth! I’m pretty big on organic, and I remember what school lunches were like…. worse than bowling ally food if you ask me. If you shop carefully, you can find 100% juice boxes, organic cookies, and other things that will “seem” like goodies to your child, but are a lot better for them then Cheeto’s.
• Rise and Shine: Getting your child up for school can be a nightmare. I have given my son an alarm that is solely for him. When it goes off, he gets up and comes in my room to get me up (bad Mommy!). Now, this doesn’t always work out perfectly, but usually just the fact that it’s going off will get him out of bed faster in the event that I do have to go in his room to tell him to get dressed. Getting yourself up every day is a good thing to be responsible for and Mom can always be there as backup.

Well, that’s my advice. It’s a lot, but when you think about it, having a kid in school is a lot of work! Especially in the first month trying to get back into the groove. These tips should not only help you adjust, but should also help your student. Happy schooling y’all.

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These days it seems that no one saves money like they used to; Money is spent nearly as fast as it’s earned. I know that in my house, there’s is usually very little, if any, left to put into savings. I realized a few months ago that I needed to make some changes and figure out some inventive ways to start saving. Here are some of the tricks that I’ve found work surprisingly well without putting any additional pinch on your pocketbook (well, some of ‘em might pinch a little).

1. Round Up! When I deduct bills, gas, groceries, etc. from my checking account, I always round up. For instance if I spend $127.57 on groceries, I enter into my checking account as $128. This helps with balancing the books, but it will also help you develop a little “padding” in that account. Do this for a month and you’ll be amazed at what you end up with. If you’re really on top of things, take that padding and move it into your savings account to earn interest at the end of each month.
2. Get an online savings account. If you shop around, there are some great deals on savings account which will earn you much higher interest than your local bank will offer. Many of them have incentives as well. How about $50 or more just for opening an account? Be sure to do your homework though, some accounts have fees and others are totally free. Here’s a site that I used to help me choose the right online savings account for me.
3. Use a piggy bank. I know it sounds like we’re back in elementary school (ahhh, the days when $9 could make you feel like the richest person on Earth!), but think about how much change you have floating around your house, in your car, and even in your laundry machine! Start putting that rogue change and lonely dollar bills into a jar and then forget that it exists. Eventually it will add up to more than you would expect. I knew a guy who finally went to cash in his change and ended up with $400 he used for a skydiving vacation.
4. Pack your lunch! This is good for you and your pocketbook. It may take a little extra time each morning to get it ready, but it saves you money on food, on gas to get to the restaurant and back, and chances are you’ll be saving yourself some calories as well.
5. Pay attention to your home habits. I never think to bring this up because I am so conscious of things like the lights in my house, and my AC. I noticed the other day when I had someone staying with me that not everyone may think about these things. Always make sure that your lights are off in the rooms you’re not in, especially if you’re leaving for work or to go out for a few hours! What’s the point of leaving your lights on when you’re gone? For added savings buy the new “green” light bulbs; they last longer and save you money on your electric bill. Another example is heating and air conditioning. My neighbors have their AC running all summer long. It literally NEVER stops running. Why cool your house down when you’re at work? Why does your house have to be so cold? I try never to run it at all, but on the rare occasion I do, I make sure it’s not left on while I’m gone and I always set it at a temperature that I know I will be comfortable and yet at the same time won’t have to run non-stop to achieve. Heat is the same way. So is water. Think about your habits at home and I’ll bet there’s at least one place you could save some dough.
6. Avoid convenience. ATM’s are everywhere, but chances are if you belong to a bank then there is at least one ATM you can use without being charged a fee. If you take the time to plan ahead, you’ll save yourself at least a couple bucks. Same with convenience stores. Sure, it’s great that you can run in and grab milk or a case of soda while you’re getting gas, but that convenience costs you a LOT! Think about that next time you reach for a $12 pack of batteries at the gas station. For example, if you spend an extra $2 each day by taking advantage of these types of conveniences that’s $60 in one month’s time that you could have saved just by taking the time to go where it’s cheaper.
7. Buy your clothes out of season. We all want to go out and buy new winter stuff as soon as fall hits. We’re inundated with ads of great stuff that we “just have to have”! But, this time of year is the most expensive time to be buying winter clothes. If you buy your summer stuff in the fall and your winter stuff in the spring, you’ll end up getting everything for a fraction of what you might have paid just a few months earlier. Yeah, it’s hard to put the perfect little tank top away for 8 months, but it’ll make you grin from ear to ear when you finally get to pull it out and see the price tag.
8. Consider your cable. Do any of us really need 120 channels? How many of those channels do you watch? I figure I watch probably 20 channels, but I gotta pay for the whole enchilada just to get those 20. Ughh. If you are a TV “hobbiest” than this might not be an acceptable place to cut back, but consider whether what you get out of your cable plan is worth what you’re paying.
9. Have ONE phone. How many people do you know have a cell phone AND a land line (and I’m being gracious here… some families have 4 or 5)? Why? I don’t get this. You only need one phone number people! Just one! I assure you that back in the “old” days people got by just fine with only one. Decide how available you need to be and choose one or the other!
10. What’s your vice? For me it’s coffee… $4 soy lattes to be precise. How did I overcome this problem? Well I haven’t completely, but I have limited myself to how often I buy high-priced caffeine, and I invested in an espresso maker for my house so that I can make one each morning and avoid the coffee shop completely. Do you really like to eat out? Cut back on the number of nights you go out and stay in instead. Are you a movie buff? Find your local discount cinema. Have a thing for cosmetics? Set an allowance for how much you can spend each month (A realistic one) and then stick to it!

Now, all of these things will work, IF you take that money you’ve just saved and actually put it into that high interest saving account we spoke about. Saving yourself money in a bunch of different places is great, but it’ll get you nowhere if you go and blow it on a night out on the town, or a great little dress that you just had to have. Make your money work for you, and take charge of it. If you don’t, know one else will… in fact they’ll try to convince you that you shouldn’t.

Have some other ideas? Have a great success story? I would love to hear them!

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So, this past weekend I went camping a couple hours west of where I live. It was a super short trip, but it made going back to work on Monday excruciatingly painful. This picture is from my campsite… can you see the torture?

Sometimes a little mini-break can seem almost unfair to my psyche! It’s not long enough to fully recharge, but long enough to realize how much I need a real vacation! Getting “back to the grind” is proving to be quite difficult this week. So, for today, this is where I wish I was. Of course, realistically I would get tired of camping after a few days. Part of what makes little trips like this so great is that it isn’t the everyday thing. If it was, it wouldn’t be so fun, right? Still, being up there on that mountain sure beats sitting behind my desk at work.

So, where do you wish you were? If you could choose any place in the world, where would it be? I encourage you to respond with detail so we can all join you in your place… if only for a moment!

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Free blog promotion is always a good thing! Today I happened upon a new site (fechr.com- pronounced “feature”), which is offering such a gift for a limited time. Soon this service will cost us, so take advantage of it while you can.

If any of you are bloggers and you’re looking for some free blog promotion, check out fechr.com. This site will happily feature your blog for a full 24 hours for free… (Now that’s a good deal, huh?)

So, what’ya waitin’ for? Go Get Featured!

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Every woman should have sacred space in her home for retreat. It should be a place for you to meditate, read a book, sleep, journal or anything that helps you to recharge when you’re feeling overworked. Preferably, this space would be off-limits to others in the house so that it always feels like your own energy.

Your sacred space can be anywhere you have room. It can be a spare bedroom, or a corner of your own bedroom that is isolated with fabric or other “barriers”. It can even be an empty closet! The important thing is that you are comfortable in that space. Once you’ve picked your spot, clear everything out. Everything. You want to start from scratch. Think about what the room’s primary function will be. Will you use it to read or to meditate? To listen to music or write in a journal? What you plan to do with your sacred space will determine a lot about what you will include in your design. The design will help create the proper energy for you to relax, heal and recharge.

When creating your sacred space remember to take into account color, texture, scent, and lighting; all of which will play a big part in how you feel in the space. Here are some tips:

• The color palette you choose should be one that is calming, soothing and recharging for you. Most often, the cool colors (blues and greens) are considered to be the most calming, but I believe that individuals are drawn to certain colors for a reason. My preference for my sacred space has always been deep warm colors; a dark (non-stimulating) red with a light brown for instance. If you can put some paint on the walls, do it! If not, consider hanging or draping fabric along the walls to change the color of the space around you.
• Add lots of accents to create the kinds of texture that you want. Some fluffy pillows that accentuate your color palette; fabrics on the walls and furniture will bring depth. Add some “special things” to personalize your space. For me, I’ve always added Buddha’s to my space, but it should be personal for you. Maybe it’s a picture of an island you stayed on five summer’s ago, or a noodle necklace your 4-year made you!
• Scent can be an extremely powerful additional to your space. Anyone schooled in aromatherapy knows how much it can do not just for mood for for overall health. I’m a big essential oil fan, and the right scent can help you to achieve that rested and recharge feeling from your sacred space. Here’s a link to some additional information on essential oils for well-being and their multitude of uses and benefits. You’ll want to use particular oils for particular things, but my mainstay is always pure lavender with either sandalwood or a citrus oil blended with it. Adding essential oils to your space can be very easy. You can add it in the form of incense or an aromatherapy burner. You can water it down into a spray bottle and mist it throughout the room, or add it to borax powder (sprinkle on the carpet and vacuum). Experiment with different scents to find one that makes you feel divine.
• Lighting will be somewhat variable depending on your intended activities, but candles are I think the best mood enhancer on the planet! If you must have a lamp or other bright light source for reading or writing, buy a small swatch of fabric that can be draped over the lamp shade for times when you want to soften the mood.
• One other addition that many people love is a noise machine… it brings the sounds of the ocean or a rainstorm to your space that many people love for meditation.

Once you’ve added all the necessary ingredients to your sacred space, the only things that will be missing is you! Begin to set aside some time each day to be in your space. It doesn’t have to be hours (even 15 minutes can be a miracle if you’re a mother!); any amount of time as long as it’s daily will be a good start. As you begin to take advantage of it’s benefits, you’ll find yourself making time to be there more often. And again, try to keep others out of your space… it’s sacred for crying out loud!!!

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