As a woman, I am aware everyday of my body. As an American Woman, I am particularly aware of its flaws. My awareness begins when I wake up and put clothes on, then repeatedly throughout the day when I eat. It can sometimes be overwhelming to be expending so much energy on something such as this, but it is nevertheless, a huge part of my day.

I would never claim to know what or how all women think, but most of the women I know are just like me; Forever fighting an ongoing struggle to be or look like someone we’re not. It’s a difficult habit to break too, because we are inundated with images that remind us of what we “should” look like.

In the last two weeks, I’ve started to become far more aware of how much energy it takes to worry about and think about my body image and the need to change it. Last week, my focus was on just not thinking about it any more. Eliminating it as a focus in my daily life was an incredible change. Until it was gone, I had no idea how much time I spent feeling guilty. I began to wonder how long I have been dieting, and I realized that since about 7th grade, I have never stopped. Yikes. Needless to say, it was an uplifting experience.

This week I have focused on acceptance. Realistically, I have always known in my heart that no matter how much fretting and dieting and worrying and anger and guilt I put on myself about my body, I’m never going to fit the American image of a woman. Personally, the older I get the less I want to. I don’t really want to weigh 80 pounds and walk around with my hip bones poking out of my jeans. This is something I think all women realize deep down somewhere that they are unique; the trick is being proud of the uniqueness rather than punishing yourself for it. Bringing it into your conscious thought is difficult though because we have years of programming that tells us we are unacceptable.

Here’s how I have changed my thinking. I remind myself in the morning that this is Me, and this body is mine. There’s a line from the movie The Secret that I often think about. It is the idea that our life today is a residual of our past actions and choices. I remind myself that while I accept myself today exactly as I am, I am also making choices today that will affect my tomorrow- that I am living today to improve my tomorrow. Making this daily assertion allows me to make proper, healthy decisions about my life; whether its about body image or attitude or something else.

In this way I have learned to think different- not just about my body and my body-image, but to also successfully believe what I’ve always known: that my body is what it is and getting caught in the trap of trying to be something akin to a Cosmo magazine is neither healthy nor realistic. You see, even though I knew this, there was programming going on in my brain that still made it difficult for me to truly believe. So, here I am today. I am less stressed out; I feel no guilt for eating a bowl of oatmeal in the morning; I spend almost no time thinking about food or dieting; I feel free.

Earlier this week, Goddess was tagged to participate in the Think Different Challenge by Peter at I Will Change Your Life. Visit Peter’s site for information on how to participate. I tag the following:

• Bloggrrl…
• Millionaire Mommy Next Door
• Scott H Young

So, here’s to thinking differently. Thanks to Peter at Iwillchangeyourlife.com for the great idea, too.

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So, what do you do when you feel like there are too many things on your plate? I am continually plagued by this problem; just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Typically, the best thing you can do is simplify. Get rid of the things you’re doing that aren’t bringing you joy and stick with the good stuff. In real life though, that isn’t very realistic. For myself, I do “too” much because the only way to simplify my life right now would be to get rid of the things that I enjoy- this blog, for instance.

Here are some other ideas that might help you to simplify a little bit, and start recharging, rather than running around on empty.

1. Run a diagnostic on your habits. Maybe TV brings you joy, but do you know exactly how much time you’re dedicating to it? Spend the next 7 days tallying up how much time you spend watching the tube. I bet you’ll discover a few hours in there that you might be able to let go of. Instead of getting rid of it completely, give up an hour or two… or more! Do the same thing if you’re an internet junkie.
2. Be a 40-hour a week person. I’m sure there are many out there who work more than a 40-hour week; for me it is sometimes not an option. The problem is that once you’ve done it once or twice, it can become a bad habit… especially if you’re not getting paid for those hours. For the next two weeks. Work your 40 hours and stop. All of us can find ways of being more efficient at work, I assure you. Not only will you find more time during the week, but likely the weekends will feel like vacations if you’re used to bringing work home.
3. Dial-in your chores. I am terrible about this. I will go to the grocery store three times in one week because I hate buying everything at once and I worry about fresh fruits and veggies going bad. The thing is, how much time do I waste in a week going three times instead of just once? Take the time to organize the things you do each week (grocery shopping, house cleaning, etc.) and you’ll be surprised and the amount of time you can save without cutting any corners.
4. Got kids? I’m not suggesting that you play with child labor laws or anything like that, but if you have kids, give them some responsibilities at home! It won’t hurt them, I promise. It’ll probably help them in the long run. My oldest son feeds our dog in the morning, cleans his room every Saturday and cleans the upstairs bathroom as well (he’s also pretty damn good at making lattes for me too). He gets an allowance, so everyone is happy. Ask your kids to take out the trash or to do the dishes after dinner. Even shaving off 15 minutes can make a difference.
5. What do you really have to do? Sometimes the end of my weekend comes and I realize that I spent the entire two days running around like a crazy person. Why? Did I really need to do all of those things? I’ve realized that sometimes I have to make myself stop running. I try to make Sunday my anything goes day. It’s my day to skydive, watch football, hike, or stay in bed all day if that’s what I want to do (assuming the kids are with their Dad of course). It also motivates me to get the truly important stuff done on Saturday. Sometimes the only thing keeping us busy is ourselves.

If none of these work for you, then you might be lucky enough to live where there is daylight savings… I can promise you an “extra” hour is coming your way in the near future.

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I have known for sometime that I am not quite where I want to be. I visualize a path… my path, and I can see it so perfectly in my mind. It is beautiful, harmonious, peaceful and full of joy. I am not on that path. I have somehow deviated from it, and so while I see it just to the left of me, I am trudging my way through thick brush, mud, and ducking out of the way of low hanging branches. I think everyone has a path… a flow of life that is in harmony with their soul. I believe that if you are on that path, life is a wonderful journey. Will there be the inevitable “downed tree” or pot hole on your path, of course, but that’s a lot better than tree bashing and fighting through the whole journey. Some people are fortunate and find their way early in life. Other people don’t find it until they’ve been on the wrong one long enough to realize where they are. Sadly, I have known people who appear as though they’ll never find what they’re looking for. It’s easy to get distracted and caught up and busy and ___ and pretty soon you don’t even know how you got to where you are. Think about a college degree. How many people do you know who work in their chosen degree field? I don’t know very many. I think it’s difficult to know what your path is when you’re 18, 19, or 20. I mean, my priority at that point in my life was making it to the weekend so I could party, and I’m pretty sure that isn’t my life path.

I work in the environmental industry, and it happens to be my chosen field. However, my intentions for using my degree are not even close to what I’m actually doing with them. I had this grandiose plan to be a field research scientist, studying rivers and fresh water systems, improving ways to utilize technology that would help to preserve this precious resource. Really, I wanted to wake up everyday and feel like I was doing something to better the world; something that went beyond boosting the economy. My job, which I will say that I am grateful for (it’s really a good job), does not leave me with the feeling that I’ve produced something meaningful. The most meaningful thing that is produced by my current employment is a paycheck. To me, that’s just uninspiring.

So how do you know if you’ve lost your way? Well, besides the resounding “off” feeling that you might carry around with you,

1. The snooze bar is your best friend. Think about it, have you ever in your life overslept on a Saturday when you were going to leave for vacation, or heading up for a day of surfing or snowboarding? Probably not. When we are excited and passionate about what we’re doing, nothing will keep us from beginning each day.
2. Your input is questionable. How many of you say you give your current career 100%- day in and day out? I can honestly say that while often I am assigned a project that lights a fire under me, there are other times when I am just skating through the day, trying to make it to the end so I can go home. Again, if we are passionate about what we’re doing, we give it everything we’ve got.
3. You do it for the money. In today’s money-focused world, it’s difficult for anyone to say they don’t work for the money. Still, there are people out there who do what they do because they love it, and they would do it regardless of what it paid them.
4. You question your purpose. Have you ever looked at the function of your job on a larger scale… the worldly scale? Can you look at your job, a job you devote a precious 250 days out of each year and say that what you provide to the world is worth that much of your life? It’s kind of a scary way to look at it, but it is the reality of a career. Shouldn’t it be worth giving that much of your life to?
5. You don’t need no stinking path. Otherwise known as denial. Sometimes I think we can get so far astray that it becomes easier to tell ourselves that the current situation is fine. Maybe it’s not exactly what we have envisioned for our life, but it provides a paycheck and allows time for shopping and football. It’s good enough… forget the path and just make the best of this one. If you find yourself feeling this way, you’re making excuses and therefore avoiding the necessary change to bring yourself full circle.

Why is this important? Beyond the joy of doing something everyday that inspires you (whether it’s helping the world or not), finding your path can increase your success. I truly believe that the most successful people in life are where they are because they’re following their path… their path has the least resistance to happiness, income, love and everything else.

I think we often find our path again during times of great hardship. When things are ok… when the status quo is functioning, it’s much harder to put yourself out there and decide to turn your life upsidedown. Whether it’s a job or a relationship, it’s easier to just get by with the way things are because what’s familiar seems safe and easy. But, when things have already gone haywire, readjusting your direction to get back on the right path doesn’t seem like such a stretch. This week, I was warned that lay offs are a possibility in the near future. I was so scared earlier this week, but as days have passed I’ve realized that if I were to get laid off, I would utilize it as an opportunity to discover something new. Just the idea has made me rethink some things about life. I came to realize that much of what I’m doing every day is just fulfilling the status quo, and that’s not exactly what I had in mind. I’m not talking about leaving my job per se, but I am talking about spending some time to reflect on what aspects of my life can be improved so that I can begin to travel the path of least resistance again.

If you find yourself relating to the 5 tips, it might be time to examine what you want our of your life, and whether you’ve somehow ended up off-track. Only you know where your path is in relation to your current direction; it’s up to you change course.

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If I Were President, I would:

1. Fire Everyone in the White House.
2. Find an American who has spent his/her entire life helping people worldwide, and I would put him in charge of foreign affairs. It would be even better if that person hated oil.
3. Locate some truly grateful and joyful people who love what our country should stand for and want to make a difference to become the domestic policy and public affairs department.
4. Hire a pacifist to head up the defense department.
5. Hire an environmentalist to run the energy department.
6. Hire Jon Stewart to be my Press Secretary.
7. Ask Maya Angelou to help me write my speeches.
8. Put together a cabinet consisting of kids ranging in age from 7-17. They still remember what life is all about.
9. Find the wealthiest person in America who also gives the highest percentage of that wealth away to help others; he/she would be my economic adviser.
10. I would require lobbyists to prove they are lobbying for things they are truly passionate about by working for less than a teacher’s salary. And maybe on that note, pass some kind of amendment that gives teacher’s the salary of oil and gas lobbyists…. hmmm.
11. Remind people of the reason for separation of church and state.
12. Ask every American to read the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Declaration of Independence at least twice a year, rather than one time in Junior High School.
13. Get a jump plane and set up a landing area for the White House lawn so I could skydive into work everyday (just kidding. It would be cool though).

The way I see it, anything is an improvement over the current situation, although it’s probably a good thing I’m not leading the country! What would you do if you were President? My son answered this question when he was 5, and you know what his answer was? “I would make all the people eat Broccoli”… Just an example of how you should impose NO limits on answering this question for yourself. Your answers could very well help you make a proper decision come election time for who you feel would best function as our President.

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Have you ever had a goal that, despite your best efforts, has not come into realization? This can be the most frustrating thing, and it seems like the more times you fail, the harder it gets to succeed. Many people struggle in this way with dieting. They say, “today will be the day that I’m finally going to get my diet on the right track”, and then someone brings in a birthday cake to work and the diet goes out the window. “Well, I’ll start tomorrow”; Ever heard that one before? I’ve used that excuse many times for many things. I struggle with this often in trying to get myself up early in the morning. I can see such benefit in getting up a couple hours before I have to leave for work. I could work out, take my dog for an extra walk, work on my blog posts… the possibilities are endless. Still, no matter how often I set my alarm early, my brain wakes me up at a certain time (I sleep through all alarms) and I find I have just enough time to get ready and head out the door. Maybe its weight loss, or finding the right person. It doesn’t matter. Once you’ve lost faith in yourself and no longer believe that you can do it, accomplishing that goal becomes more difficult.

SO, how do you get out of that rut? In my mind I always believe it takes a mental shift. At this point, it is entirely your perspective that is setting up the situation for failure. For progress to be achieved, you must change your thinking- not just about the goal, but about yourself. Here are some ways to get yourself back on track.

• Take some time to re-evaluate the goal. What is it you want to achieve? What are the benefits of achieving this goal? What will it take to accomplish? Journal this stuff so that you can return to it if you find yourself off-track again later.
• Meditate, go for a walk or a hike, or go to your sacred space, and discuss with yourself if this goal is truly important to you. Often times our goals are not our own. Maybe you’re trying to lose weight for a significant other. I contend that if the end result of the goal is to please someone other than yourself, it’s not worth it. You’ll have a much harder time succeeding if you aren’t 100% behind it.
• If the goal is in fact something for you, and you are still certain that you want to achieve it, begin setting yourself a time line. It’s important to outline where you’re trying to get to so that you know when you’ve succeeding in completing the goal. For me, the end point would be successfully waking two hours early for 30 days straight and no longer sleeping through my alarm. Sometimes though, the end point might be too far off, making it harder to stay focused and motivated. This is where a time line can come in handy. Create some milestones for success. For instance, my first milestone would be to successfully get up one hour early for the first two weeks. This technique is really helpful for losing weight. Maybe you want to lose 40 pounds in the next 6 months. Setting up “mini-goals” to achieve each of the 10 pounds can really help keep you motivated because you find success along the way.
• Finally, do whatever you need to do to remember your worth and your abilities. Remind yourself that you are capable of doing whatever you choose, and that you can in fact succeed in this. Again, meditation and walks are good for this. I for one find a lot of motivation in going for long walk with my dog. I bring some music that inspires me to want to change, and I just walk.
• If you find yourself having an “off day”, don’t let that dampen your spirit! Everyone has good and bad days. Achievement takes perseverance and patience. Don’t give up on yourself; instead, pick yourself back up and start again (don’t wait until tomorrow either)!

Believing in yourself and your ability is the first step to accomplishing any goal. When you have faith in yourself, you can achieve anything you can dream up.

** Photo by Alice Russell

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