As a woman, I am aware everyday of my body. As an American Woman, I am particularly aware of its flaws. My awareness begins when I wake up and put clothes on, then repeatedly throughout the day when I eat. It can sometimes be overwhelming to be expending so much energy on something such as this, but it is nevertheless, a huge part of my day.
I would never claim to know what or how all women think, but most of the women I know are just like me; Forever fighting an ongoing struggle to be or look like someone we’re not. It’s a difficult habit to break too, because we are inundated with images that remind us of what we “should” look like.
In the last two weeks, I’ve started to become far more aware of how much energy it takes to worry about and think about my body image and the need to change it. Last week, my focus was on just not thinking about it any more. Eliminating it as a focus in my daily life was an incredible change. Until it was gone, I had no idea how much time I spent feeling guilty. I began to wonder how long I have been dieting, and I realized that since about 7th grade, I have never stopped. Yikes. Needless to say, it was an uplifting experience.
This week I have focused on acceptance. Realistically, I have always known in my heart that no matter how much fretting and dieting and worrying and anger and guilt I put on myself about my body, I’m never going to fit the American image of a woman. Personally, the older I get the less I want to. I don’t really want to weigh 80 pounds and walk around with my hip bones poking out of my jeans. This is something I think all women realize deep down somewhere that they are unique; the trick is being proud of the uniqueness rather than punishing yourself for it. Bringing it into your conscious thought is difficult though because we have years of programming that tells us we are unacceptable.
Here’s how I have changed my thinking. I remind myself in the morning that this is Me, and this body is mine. There’s a line from the movie The Secret that I often think about. It is the idea that our life today is a residual of our past actions and choices. I remind myself that while I accept myself today exactly as I am, I am also making choices today that will affect my tomorrow- that I am living today to improve my tomorrow. Making this daily assertion allows me to make proper, healthy decisions about my life; whether its about body image or attitude or something else.
In this way I have learned to think different- not just about my body and my body-image, but to also successfully believe what I’ve always known: that my body is what it is and getting caught in the trap of trying to be something akin to a Cosmo magazine is neither healthy nor realistic. You see, even though I knew this, there was programming going on in my brain that still made it difficult for me to truly believe. So, here I am today. I am less stressed out; I feel no guilt for eating a bowl of oatmeal in the morning; I spend almost no time thinking about food or dieting; I feel free.
Earlier this week, Goddess was tagged to participate in the Think Different Challenge by Peter at I Will Change Your Life. Visit Peter’s site for information on how to participate. I tag the following:
So, here’s to thinking differently. Thanks to Peter at Iwillchangeyourlife.com for the great idea, too.
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The Evolution of Fake Beauty by bluskygirl on August 22nd, 2007
This may be old news to some but I just happened to run across it on Lively Women, and thought it was worth sharing here.
The Daily Grind: How Do We Make it A Happy Grind? by bluskygirl on September 11th, 2007
I picked up a blog post today that I thought was worth sharing.
An Attitude of Gratitude by bluskygirl on August 7th, 2007
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Comments
Thanks for participating in my challenge. You have written a very honest post about an issue I’m sure many women have to deal with. In fact, I have seen firsthand how this issue affects women as my wife has been struggling to “reclaim” her body after having our first son. I love her body just how it is, but it seems there is so much pressure from external sources (eg cosmo) to have a certain type of body shape.
I’m going to have to disagree with you… I don’t think you should be proud of your uniqueness, either. I think you should just accept it as something that is. I don’t think it should matter in a positive or negative way… your body is such a small part of who YOU are.
You really should, however, spend enough energy on your diet (as in what you eat, not as in a plan to lose weight) to make sure that you’re eating healthy… and exercise helps your mind as much as it does your body. Spending the energy to be healthy is an entirely different thing than obsessing over your body, though.
PS - Ultra-skinny girls are not attractive… I really have no desire to see a girl’s skeletal structure. It makes me want to go buy them a cheeseburger.
I definitely see your point, Jason. The fact is though, that often times when we do not accept our body as it is, it causes us to make unhealthy choices about what and how we eat. For instance, I, not unlike many, have starved myself in an attempt to make changes. It took me a couple weeks to realize what I was doing was very borderline anorexic. Accepting doesn’t necessarily have to mean that your feelings are “charged” to be positive, but a negative body image certainly effects the healthy choices a person makes about what they eat everyday.
Insightful, honest and beautifully written.
I went through body image and eating issues in high school. At 5′10″, I towered over my friends. I felt huge, despite being thin. I fought some irrational thoughts- “if only I was thinner, I’d look shorter and I’d fit in better…”.
Thankfully I got past this issue without long-term health issues. And as soon as I stopped thinking about food and its effects, my relationship with food became a joy.
Thanks for the tag. I will give this some thought!
wow, great post Ang– very honest and real. I think acceptance is the key here…and just letting it be the way that it is. I would also add cultivating a grateful attitude for your body…say affirmations every day affirming how thankful you are just to have a working organism…!
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Jason, I can see where you’re coming from, but I’m actually in agreement with Ang on this one. Uniqueness deserves to be celebrated.
Nice piece.
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Hi, I think it’s wonderful that you’re letting go of the comparison thinking….I’ve done a lot of that myself and am calling it quits. What’s funny is that the images I’ve compared myself to aren’t even real anyway - they’re all airbrushed.
Keep on loving yourself! 
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