Written by What happened in our recent “evolution” to cause us not only to expect things now, but to feel like we can’t survive if we have to wait for good things to come to us? Instant Gratification. I suffer from it and it’s something that I’m always fighting with because I realize how much disharmony is created in my life because of it.
It happens with everything.. for most of us, right? I mean, you see something you want, you have to have it now. Maybe it’s a car you can’t quite afford. No problem. I’ll just finance! Maybe it’s a dream job. Because some of us don’t have it NOW, we spend endless amounts of time complaining about the job we do have. Or we jump from job to job without thinking things through. Maybe it’s the need to be skinny-minny. The diet-pill market is flourishing because of our inability to set a goal and work towards it. That’s the problem. It’s the idea that we shouldn’t have to work for it. We just want it now. We don’t want to have to save money, or exercise everyday, or work hard at our jobs and learn the skills we’ll nee
d for that dream job. No way! We want it NOW.
I’ve mentioned before my feelings about the consumerism and commercialism in the world today and how it teaches us to think this way. It’s advantageous for them if we think we can get everything we want without effort or cost. Problem is, our instant gratification which must be satiated, only ends up hurting us and our long term goals in the process.
I personally, am not sure that I’m in a career situation where I want to be long term; however, I also know there a multitude of skills that I can acquire where I’m at. If I were to be upset, anxious, and bitchy over the fact that I’m not in my dream job I then sabotage my ability to improve myself now. Similarly, if I rush out and take the first job I find that’s different than the one I’m in, I have no idea what I’m getting. In the end, trying to achieve that dream job NOW sabotage’s my ability to go out and get it later. Same with the dieter. No matter how many pills and potions you try, none of them really work or we would all be skinny. That said, taking all those things only serve to reinforce in the dieter’s mind that he/she doesn’t really have to eat right and exercise to lose weight. In the end, it sabotage’s the possibility for progress which will not only provide results, but teach proper habits.
So, while I recognize the problem, and I have my own opinion about how we got here, that leaves me with the question of How do we Get Out of this? Because this has been something that I have been thinking about often for a long time, I will tell you that there are some things that I try to ask myself to re-train myself not to think this way. Instead of Instant Gratification, I think of it as Mindful Achievement; obtaining something you want in life through mindful planning and presence; you know, working towards something.
- I am spoiled. I have everything I could ever possibly need and more. Chances are, you’re just like me if you have internet and can read this! Put yourself in some perspective and think about people in other places in the world without clean drinking water, food, shelter and electricity. Kinda makes that second ipod (“I have a 4 gb, but an 8gb sure would be nice) seem a little less important, right?
- What are my goals in life? Remind yourself what is truly important to you. This may be world peace, it may be your morning espresso. Whatever it is, be sure that you know what those things are so that when the itch to have anything NOW arises, you can easily assess whether or not it is part of those goals. If it isn’t, then it’s a lot easier to just plain walk away from it.
- Do I really want/need that? If the answer is yes, then what is the best approach to obtain it? Maybe it’s saving up money, maybe it’s doing some research on nutrition. Whatever the case may be, make a plan.
- What is the Personal Cost to me if I decide that I can’t wait to have this? For example, buying something you can’t afford because you don’t want to wait and save up for it means you’ll be paying interest. Maybe you quit a good, secure job for something different (but not quite right) because you thought it would resolve your restlessness in your career, only to realize that you traded job security for a career question mark. Force yourself to see that there is a down-side to instant gratification. While you’re at it, think about how great it will feel to achieve something without looking for the “easy way”.
- Instant Gratification is Temporary! I won’t deny, it can be a great feeling when you get something that you want so badly… it’s almost a rush if you allow yourself to believe you need it. Problem is, that rush fades away. Quite often, you’re left with something you hadn’t thought of. A loan you can’t afford, pills that make you sick, or a job that isn’t what you had in mind.
Change is never easy. It takes constant presence and awareness to prevent your brain from falling into familiar patterns. Finding ways to achieve the goals you want without the added costs that come with having to obtain something NOW will reward you with time, money, patience, and pride. Once you’ve stepped through the process a few times, and felt the reward of mindful achievement, you won’t want to go back.
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Hi,
I completely agree with what you say, because I’ve been a victim of it. I quit my first job, cos I thought it was not where I should be, and took the first job that wanted to take me.
That new place turned out to be horrible, and I decided to go back to my old job. But that was instant gratification too. And now that I am back, I am miserable cos the reasons for leaving still exist, and I didnt think things through. Now, my career is messed up, I am not confident of my decisions, and I am not hirable for most companies cos of my frequest job hops. And I am miserable each day for what I have done in the last 1 year.
One thing I would say, because I understand how it feels to be “stuck”… think of this time as an opportunity to take the time you need to find the right job for you. If it takes three months, six months, a year, whatever the case may be, start looking for that job now. And I wouldn’t worry so much about being hire-able. At this point, many people have worked at places for short periods of time, bounced around from job to job, or just flat out been unemployed. I think you’re in good company, so don’t let that stop you from finding what is right for you!
Hi Bluskygirl, funny how what you’ve written down completely describes how I feel right now. I am at the stage when I am thinking do I have the right job, should I just take the job that I like even if it doesn’t pay well, I want to be skinnier etc etc. I just want to say that the pointers you mentioned here all make sense.
I think we all relate to this post in one way or another! If you do what feels right, the other things we worry about (e.g. money as an example) will fall into place!