Sometimes when looking for our purpose, it’s best to look back rather than forward. Think about what you wanted to do when you were a kid. What was it that you dreamed of being able to do when you became an adult? For myself, I first wanted to be the lady at the circus who rode the white horse standing up (circa 5 or 6 years old), then it was a Navy fighter pilot (circa 9-18 years). The latter dream I followed intensely most of my childhood. In the end I elected not to go the Naval Academy and I think it was good choice. When I think about why I wanted to be a fighter pilot, it was the plane and nothing else. I wanted to fly a fast, maneuverable plane that could do amazing things in the sky. I didn’t, per se, want to shoot people down (I’m a lover not a fighter). Now, as an adult, the two most prominent features of my life (outside of my kids and career of course) are my love of animals and skydiving. I’ve always had a house filled with animals… usually enough to make it feel like a zoo without it being nasty (currently that equates to three cats and a Saint Bernard in my townhome). Before I started skydiving, I volunteered at a stable as a trail guide. My love for animals in general (horses in particular) is still present in my adult life. As far as skydiving goes, it doesn’t take a genius to make the connection to fighter jets. I get to do the things I would have done in a jet, but I do it with my body instead. Sure, I’ll never go Mach 2 or 3, but believe me when I say I’m not getting shortchanged by going 120 miles per hour flying my body.

Look back to your childhood for some insight if you’re trying to figure out what to do with the rest of your life. The passions in your life that have stood the test of time (and of growing up!) are the things that you will likely always love. I am a true believer that if you’re doing what you love, you will find success and wealth and all the things that you want in life.

So, what did you want to be when you grew up?

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So, I was at the gym last night, and as I was running a Black Eyed Peas song (Where is the Love?) came on my MP3 player. I hadn’t heard it in a while (my player’s on random for running purposes) and there was a section of lyrics that really expressed the way I’m feeling about our world… well, my country for the most part. I thought I would share them with you.

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I’m gettin’ older, y’all, people get colder
Most of us only care about money makin’
Selfishness got us followin’ our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo’, whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feelin’ under
That’s the reason why sometimes I’m feelin’ down
There’s no wonder why sometimes I’m feelin’ under
Gotta keep my faith alive to lovers bound

If you aren’t familiar with this song, or you just want to listen to it (I will admit, the lyrics are better heard than read), go here.

I’m really left just wondering how to change a movement in society that seems so different and contradictory to how I feel life should be. I guess the positive thing is that I’m not alone; if I was there wouldn’t be songs like this that I could relate to.

Somewhere I’ve heard an expression… I can’t remember it exactly, but it basically says that individual people are smart; it’s only in large numbers that we’re stupid. I agree with that. As an individual, I think many of us see the same problems and issues and wish something would change. But when you look at us as a whole… as a society, we create the problems and issues everyday. What we think on our own doesn’t manifest itself in society as a whole. I believe it’s a problem of disconnection between us all. As the song says, we’re all on this trip of selfishness, going our own way. If you think about it, we’re really all trying to go the same way. We all want the same thing: happiness.

The Dali Lama talks about having compassion for others regardless of what they might have done in their life to you or to others. He says the key to finding compassion like that is to break things down to the most essential element- that we are all human beings. I hope that just as “going green” has taken hold, we will someday take hold of living with compassion, love and respect for each other.

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It’s Friday! I decided to post on the lighter side today. Here’s a list of things I want to accomplish before I die. Some of them are perfectly realistic, while others will take a lot of legwork. I hope that I can see all of these things manifest in my lifetime, and I will do what I need to to make that happen. So, without further ado, here’s my list:

1. Become a skydiving instructor
2. Travel to at least one country on every continent
3. Run a marathon
4. BASE jump in New Zealand
5. See my boys become men, husbands and/or fathers
6. Live on a small island for a year
7. Meet the Dali Lama
8. Find the love of my life
9. Have my own orchid greenhouse
10. Scuba dive in Belize
11. Meet Jack Johnson
12. Become involved in the movement to improve drinking water conditions around the world
13. Swing through the canopy of the Amazon Rainforest
14. Find the cure for cancer (ok, not really. I’ll leave that to my super-duper best friend)
15. See a world at peace

So, I could go on, but I’ll stop there. These things are not in any particular order or importance to me, although the first one is the first thing that came to my mind. It obviously holds a certain amount of significance for me.

As you enjoy your Friday, are there things that you have in you mind that you hope to accomplish before you die? What are they? Which ones can you achieve now and which ones involve preparation and planning? Creating a list like this is a great way to work your mind and your imagination. It also can get you motivated to make something happen that you might not have otherwise!

Enjoy your weekend…

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Our most basic human goal outside of survival, is happiness. Everything we do is an attempt to enjoy our lives. A big part of happiness I think, is contentment. I’m not talking about complacency or apathy; rather, I am talking about being able to get through the day and feel peaceful about life. I am always striving to find balance to achieve contentment without becoming complacent in my life.

Contentment with continued growth is a difficult balance to strike; so much so that as soon as my life slows down and I find myself not worried or concerned about things, I have a tendency to take on a new responsibility. A new pet or hobby, is a good example. I think it’s a reaction of feeling as though since I’m not struggling, I am in danger of becoming stagnant. The thing is, I always end up with too much on my plate to devote an adequate amount of time to everything. Without boring you with the details, I can assure you, there are too many things for me to get done in an average day, and as a result, something always gets left behind. Lately it’s been the gym (sigh).

We often accumulate things in an effort to be happy. For some of us, it’s a weekly trip to the mall for new clothes, or a couple new games every month for the gamer. For others, it’s exercise classes, volunteer work, or a second job. The question is, at what point to all those things stop bringing you enjoyment, and instead make things more complicated?

A coworker said something to me yesterday that was the inspiration for this post. She said that during a recent retreat she went on, one of the speakers said that although we often try to fill our lives with things to achieve contentment, the real path to being content was to remove things from your life. It makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Removing aspects of your daily life that aren’t fulfilling you will ultimately make things simpler; in turn you will directly effect the level of complication you deal with each day. Eliminate complication and ah ha! You have contentment. It made me think about my life and how I have over complicated each day by trying to fit in more than I can handle. I would love to simplify my life by removing some of the most unpleasant things (like extra jobs I do here and there for extra money), but sometimes those things are a requirement for our current situation, so this “life purge” is sometimes easier said than done.

Maybe the trick is simplifying your life by taking the steps necessary to allow you to remove the things you want. For me, it would be changing my spending habits and resolving some debt so that I won’t have to do any of that pesky side work. In your own life, think about all of the things you do each day, and ask yourself if each one of them is fulfilling you, and bringing you joy. If it isn’t, then why is it there? How can you make some changes in your daily life to get rid of it?

I truly believe my friend’s right; in this case, less is definitely more. Identify what you don’t want in your life and get rid of it! Continue this purge process until you feel content with your life; every one of us will experience contentment at a different moment. For some of us, we might only have to release one thing, for many of us it will be more.

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Platonic relationships with the opposite sex can be incredibly fulfilling and rewarding. Some of my best friends have been men. Many people debate the idea that a man and a woman can have a true friendship; with nothing else in the mix. I’ve learned now that while I still think it’s possible, it really depends on the two people involved. I have experienced both success and failure.

I have been friends with a guy that I’ve known for a few years now. We’ve always been very close and he’s a wonderful guy. Through the years he has made it known to me that his feelings went beyond friendship, but I never acted on them. While I don’t want to say that I know for sure, I speculate that the feelings started very early on in our friendship. Our friendship didn’t suffer from this really, with the exception of a few moments here or there where I was uncomfortable.

A few months ago, I began to notice my feelings changing for him, and I said something to him about it. We ended up on a week-long journey of casual dating and by the end of that week I had realized that I had made a terrible mistake risking our friendship. He and I were not a good match. Our difference in age (he is 8 years younger than me) and difference in emotional placement in life would not allow us to have a healthy relationship. I ended things and explained truthfully to him why I felt that this could not work. We tried to go back to being friends, but many things were different.

Moving beyond friendship was a point of no return- for both of us. For me, I can no longer be his friend and stay “blissfully ignorant” to his feelings, and for him it seems difficult to shut the door that was opened when we dated for that week. The question is, was this ever truly platonic? Could it have ever been or remained that way? I believe that as far and he and I are concerned, sooner or later it would have happened (because he’s a wonderful person) but the conclusion would have been the same. Whether I choose to regret it or not, I wouldn’t know the things I know had I not made the choice to try a more intimate relationship.

I don’t deny that he is a wonderful person; he is one of the most caring and compassionate people I’ve ever met, but unfortunately you can’t choose who you love, or who you don’t. I have no doubt that he will make someone very happy in life; unfortunately, that just isn’t going to be me.

The answer to my question, whether or not platonic relationships are possible… I suppose that I think now that they are and can be, but maybe not forever. Isn’t it likely that if two people spend enough time together, one of them is bound to develop feelings beyond friendship? I think it’s probable, and maybe that isn’t a bad thing. Maybe that is just part of the journey; part of the experience you are meant to have with that person. Maybe if you’re lucky that friendship turns into something wonderful for both of you, but if not take what you can from the experience and apply what you’ve learned.

I can in many ways thank my friend. Because of this experience I realize that I want some specific things with the next relationship that I get into, and more importantly I learned that I am strong enough to make the right choice for me and be patient for what I want.

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