What happened in our recent “evolution”  to cause us not only to expect things now, but to feel like we can’t survive if we have to wait for good things to come to us? Instant Gratification. I suffer from it and it’s something that I’m always fighting with because I realize how much disharmony is created in my life because of it.

It happens with everything.. for most of us, right? I mean, you see something you want, you have to have it now. Maybe it’s a car you can’t quite afford. No problem. I’ll just finance! Maybe it’s a dream job. Because some of us don’t have it NOW, we spend endless amounts of time complaining about the job we do have. Or we jump from job to job without thinking things through. Maybe it’s the need to be skinny-minny. The diet-pill market is flourishing because of our inability to set a goal and work towards it. That’s the problem. It’s the idea that we shouldn’t have to work for it. We just want it now. We don’t want to have to save money, or exercise everyday, or work hard at our jobs and learn the skills we’ll need for that dream job. No way! We want it NOW.

I’ve mentioned before my feelings about the consumerism and commercialism in the world today and how it teaches us to think this way. It’s advantageous for them if we think we can get everything we want without effort or cost. Problem is, our instant gratification which must be satiated, only ends up hurting us and our long term goals in the process.

I personally, am not sure that I’m in a career situation where I want to be long term; however, I also know there a multitude of skills that I can acquire where I’m at. If I were to be upset, anxious, and bitchy over the fact that I’m not in my dream job I then sabotage my ability to improve myself now. Similarly, if I rush out and take the first job I find that’s different than the one I’m in, I have no idea what I’m getting. In the end, trying to achieve that dream job NOW sabotage’s my ability to go out and get it later. Same with the dieter. No matter how many pills and potions you try, none of them really work or we would all be skinny. That said, taking all those things only serve to reinforce in the dieter’s mind that he/she doesn’t really have to eat right and exercise to lose weight. In the end, it sabotage’s the possibility for progress which will not only provide results, but teach proper habits.

So, while I recognize the problem, and I have my own opinion about how we got here, that leaves me with the question of How do we Get Out of this? Because this has been something that I have been thinking about often for a long time, I will tell you that there are some things that I try to ask myself to re-train myself not to think this way. Instead of Instant Gratification, I think of it as Mindful Achievement; obtaining something you want in life through mindful planning and presence; you know, working towards something.

1. I am spoiled. I have everything I could ever possibly need and more. Chances are, you’re just like me if you have internet and can read this! Put yourself in some perspective and think about people in other places in the world without clean drinking water, food, shelter and electricity. Kinda makes that second ipod (”I have a 4 gb, but an 8gb sure would be nice) seem a little less important, right?
2. What are my goals in life? Remind yourself what is truly important to you. This may be world peace, it may be your morning espresso. Whatever it is, be sure that you know what those things are so that when the itch to have anything NOW arises, you can easily assess whether or not it is part of those goals. If it isn’t, then it’s a lot easier to just plain walk away from it.
3. Do I really want/need that? If the answer is yes, then what is the best approach to obtain it? Maybe it’s saving up money, maybe it’s doing some research on nutrition. Whatever the case may be, make a plan.
4. What is the Personal Cost to me if I decide that I can’t wait to have this? For example, buying something you can’t afford because you don’t want to wait and save up for it means you’ll be paying interest. Maybe you quit a good, secure job for something different (but not quite right) because you thought it would resolve your restlessness in your career, only to realize that you traded job security for a career question mark. Force yourself to see that there is a down-side to instant gratification. While you’re at it, think about how great it will feel to achieve something without looking for the “easy way”.
5. Instant Gratification is Temporary! I won’t deny, it can be a great feeling when you get something that you want so badly… it’s almost a rush if you allow yourself to believe you need it. Problem is, that rush fades away. Quite often, you’re left with something you hadn’t thought of. A loan you can’t afford, pills that make you sick, or a job that isn’t what you had in mind.

Change is never easy. It takes constant presence and awareness to prevent your brain from falling into familiar patterns. Finding ways to achieve the goals you want without the added costs that come with having to obtain something NOW will reward you with time, money, patience, and pride. Once you’ve stepped through the process a few times, and felt the reward of mindful achievement, you won’t want to go back.

Image from: http://www.conciseguidelines.com

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I can’t help thinking the last few months about how our country, and the world, got to this place. Here we are, the economy of the world teetering on the brink of total failure, and no one seems to be reflecting on why we’re here; only how we can get out of it. Isn’t that the first basic rule though, problem solving? Don’t you have to understand how the problem came to be before you can solve it appropriately? Yes, banks gave out loans to people they shouldn’t have, and yes, credit card companies and the like we’re allowed to do what they wanted because regulation was lacking. But is that REALLY the problem? I don’t think so. I think it’s the symptom of a bigger problem. It’s a symptom of something that the companies of the world have lost. Integrity. Morals. Compassion. I mean, let’s face it. This whole economic “disaster” is really a simple function of greed. Somewhere along the way, these companies stopped thinking like individual human beings and started thinking as a machine. Money. How can we get more of it? What can we do to increase our bottom line? Who cares about what the costs are to others, it only matters what we stand to gain.

Let’s go back a few decades… say 5. So we’re in the 1950’s. For the most part, didn’t the Capitalist System work? Why did it work? Because even though companies were in the business of making money, it wasn’t at the expense of the people who paid for their services! Nor was it at the expense of the people who worked for them! WOW! What an idea. There was this overall sense of responsibility to each other, and a responsibility to their moral selves. To America. And those CEO’s and CFO’s and small town business owners realized that screwing over their “neighbor” might be a good short term way to earn more money, but long term it would be a disaster for them.

Now we have a system which has been built on greed. Teach people they need to buy. Teach them they need NEW things all the time. Teach them to live beyond their means and that it’s totally okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s a status symbol to have the newest car, biggest house, most expensive shoes. Is it to make our lives better? That’s what we’re “trained” to believe- that the shiny new car will make us happier than our current less-shiny but relatively new car. But it’s not really about us, it’s about them. They need to sell more, because whatever their percent profit margin is now, is not enough. They need to make more money, because that’s what businesses do. And that’s just what happens to customers!

What if you’re an employee? How does it make you feel to know that you work more hours than most people in other countries, have to pay for your own health care and barely make enough to keep up with inflation, when the head honchos of your company are getting billions in bonuses? It’s even worse when they do a SHITTY job and get an even bigger bonus for leaving! Why? I have to say, I was absolutely moved by the bank CEO Leonard Abess, Jr. who gave his $66 million dollars of his own profit to the company’s employees. That guy should be our role model.

So, companies are going under because they sold bad loans. They knew what they were doing. It was short-term BIG gain without regard to long-term consequences. Now many of us are unemployed, in foreclosure, bankruptcy, or in debt up to our eyeballs. What do they want us to do to help the economy? Take out more loans! Yeah! What a fantastically insane idea. Take out more money that we don’t have so we can buy shit we don’t need and can’t afford. Am I the only one who thinks this is asinine?

And our government, I realize they’re in emergency mode and worried about companies and conglomerate’s failing that our economy requires for survival, but I am absolutely certain that bailing out a company who fraudulently operated it’s business for the sole purpose of making their bigwigs and stockholders rich at the expense of everyone else, should NOT be saved. They should succumb to the Capitalist System. It’s a good system. It means that if you offer a good service at a competitive price and you operate honorably, you get to grow and prosper. If you’re a bad businessman, are greedy, lie to your customers or sell a bad product, you go out of business. That’s how the system is supposed to work. We’re trying to fix a system that was broken long before it began it’s recent descent. I have no doubt in the Capitalist System and no doubt in America. I do not believe, however, that we should be trying to repair a system that is dependent on the citizens of this country going into debt, and allows greedy, selfish companies to be bailed out so they can continue to operate the same ways. And why wouldn’t they? There was NO consequence to what they did! They made a gazillion bucks and now the government covered their ass. They’ll do it again.

I think that the only way to truly fix this, is to realize that this whole problem comes down to the human level. The humanity of not just doing what is best for you, but what is best for the people around you, the state you live in, and your country. It means saying, I’m not going to buy from a company who operates like this. I’m not going to work for a company who has such a low opinion of it’s people. It also means not letting the machine suck you in, and realizing that the idea that our economy HAS to be based on consumerism alone is a scam. There are other ways to have a successful economy. And most of them would probably equate to a healthier economy as well. One more thing: think back to the 1950’s. Do you think people shopped and bought like we do today? No way. People saved for a TV. They drove their cars until they didn’t work anymore. They didn’t need 12 things, all the same just in different colors. They only needed one.

As much as I am angry at the corporations, we also have to realize on an individual level that we are all equally to blame. We have to take responsibility for the fact that we fell for what they were selling. I did. I went shopping every weekend. I saw things everyday that I thought I absolutely couldn’t live without. Things that would make me happier, hipper, whatever. I bought them on the spot. Even if I didn’t have any money. They sold us this idea, we bought it and here we are. I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want that kind of life for myself, that future for my sons, and I certainly don’t want to support the institutions who want to keep the status quo. But maybe that’s just me.

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I picked up a blog post today that I thought was worth sharing… about our jobs and how our perception of them can alter our ability to find happiness in a career. Johnplaceonline.com has a great article titled, “Hate Your Job? First, Shatter Your Work Prejudice“, and it details the idea that we have such a negative perception of our jobs that we fail to see the possibilities in making it a meaningful experience.

I have thought a lot about this recently. I have heard phrases such as “Slave, Save and Retire” and I realize that we all see it that way. I often do. But, if I am to work 40 hours a week for the next 25-odd years, than finding a way to destroy the negative attachments I have is crucial to my own peace in life. This is a great article, go check it out.

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This post refers specifically to the United States, and I don’t really have any idea how other country’s education systems work but I would love to hear from those of you not in the U.S. about how your country tackle’s these issues.

There are some huge problems in the education system here, and I am not going to touch on all of them because I don’t have time to write a novel! If you look around online, even just in the blogosphere, what are the two main things you see people interested in? Money and Diet. I’ll tell you that those are my two primary topics of interest most of the time. It seems that no one really knows how to manage their money or their health, and here in America those are the two subjects that no one ever teaches you about in school. I suppose the education system expects that families will teach these things to their kids, but that only works if the families are already well educated in finance and health. Based on our debt problems and obesity rates in this country, I’d say we’re not.

Finance

I never took a finance class, nor was there any class about managing money and the expenses of living as an adult offered at my high school (or any others that I know of). Children should be taught how to manage their own money and the responsibility that you have when you become an adult. How did I learn about money? The hard way. I learned the way most people learn- trial and error. Our financial system in this country is a scam and it feeds on the fiscally uneducated. After many mistakes and eventually winding up in the hole, I’ve joined the millions of people who are online reading and learning about how to be financially independent instead of at the mercy of credit card companies. Sadly, I don’t see any hope for primary and secondary education in this country realizing the need for kids to have access to financial knowledge. So, I’m gonna do the best I can to educate my children myself. I’ve certainly made enough mistakes to be able to tell what NOT to do! I’ve also learned along the way some ways to save money that have helped me. Women and especially and young girls should learn to be their own financial advisor because all too often there is this idea that managing money is a man’s job.

Since I realize I live in only one of 50 states, you should look into your education system and find out if your child’s school offers a class in finance. If they do, explain to you child how important it is to know how to avoid the pitfalls of the American financial system. Even if the classes viewpoint differs from yours, there is still much to be gained from learning these things from a teacher instead of just the parent.

Nutrition

I don’t have to explain why I think we need to be teaching nutrition in school. Look at our country. I saw in the news that Mississippi has now surpassed the 30% mark for obesity. More than 1 in 3 people in Mississippi are considered obese. Nation-wide it’s an epidemic and we hear about it all the time. Colorado is the thinnest state, where I live, and we’re still holding steady with a 17% obesity rate. It’s not about fitting some standard or looking like a model. It’s a serious health concern, and what bothers me most is the number of kids I see that are already fighting with weight issues. Parent’s should be diligent about what goes into their child’s mouth, but if the parent’s are struggling to make healthy food choices then they’re certainly not going to be making smart choices for their kids.

America goes on these fads; something will suddenly become “in” or “out”… right now whole grains are the new thing. If the newest trend towards nutrition has convinced people to stop eating refined grains like white bread, that’s great! Still, there’s so much more to nutrition than the latest fad. Everything from the types of meat we’re eating (and how much) to choosing whether or not to buy organic. How about Fast Food? Most people have no idea the levels of chemicals, hormones and pesticides that they’re eating on a daily basis.

As far as obesity is concerned, nutrition doesn’t just have to do with what you’re putting into your body. It also matters greatly what you do with your body, and let’s face it- watching TV for two hours every night is not a good choice when combined with our choices of diet.

We have teenage girls who are starving themselves to be thin and maybe if they had been educated on how to eat healthy, they would be in a place where they were actually healthy and the desire to starve would not be as intense. A simple nutrition class on healthy foods, healthy activities, and the basic idea of the body as an energy machine (i.e. your weight is a result of what you put in vs. what you put out) would go a long way towards teaching children about their health. I have taught my kids a lot about healthy food choices, and while they’re not perfect and still chow down on candy once in a while, they’re leaps and bounds above most kids their age. I was in the produce isle the other day with them and they were fighting over whether we should get asparagus, artichokes or broccoli. They were nearly begging me for asparagus but I had just made it the other day and wanted to get broccoli. You should have seen the other parents nearby looking at my boys like they were mutants! They’re not…. the only difference in them is that I’ve had them eating healthy fruits and vegetables for so long now that they actually like them.

Nutrition is something that is offered more commonly in schools, but usually is an elective. If your child’s school does have such a class, convince your child the class is valuable. Even if they don’t use what they’ve learned initially, it will come back eventually and the acquired skills will be important for getting on a healthy track.

I realize that adding two subjects to school’s here in this country is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to our flawed education system, but it would be the first thing I would change if I had the power to do it on my own. It will take parents to realize the importance of these things to convince schools to add such subjects, and most parents are still struggling from the lack of financial and health information they received. Our kids deserve to have the necessary skills to become successful adults, and if the school system supported these two subjects I think this next generation would be far more prepared than my generation was.

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Every time I watched Carry in Sex and the City spend $900 on a new pair of Manolo’s it made me sick to my stomach. Don’t get me wrong, I love shoes. Love shoes. If could, I would have a pair for every day of the year and then some. The problem for me is spending that kind of money on one pair of shoes. Think how many you could buy somewhere else for the price of one pair of Manolo’s? Therein lies the issue. Many people don’t want 40 pairs of shoes, they want one pair of Manolo’s. They’ll do anything to have the most fashionable thing on their feet, including spending $900.

I don’t buy girlie magazines (if you want to know why check out my post on fighting the Cosmo-girl image), but occasionally I might flip through one my Mom brings me. There’s always a page or two on the new “hot looks”. It starts with showing you a famous person all glammed-up and how much their particular outfit cost, including accessories. It’s usually completely absurd… like $1300 just for the skirt. Then, they kindly show you how you can mimic this outfit buying less expensive items somewhere else. I always laugh, because even though they’ve found a cheaper alternative, it’s still more than I would ever spend on one outfit. I might consider it if someone could assure me that it would be timeless; it would never go out of style and I could wear it for years to come. Yeah, right! This $500 “mimic” outfit is  this year’s fall fashion and so next year if I want to be in fashion again I’ll have to go out and buy something different. Chances are if you want to be fashionable you have to consider buying more than one outfit too, because fashionistas certainly don’t wear the same outfit over and over and over again.

And realistically, the outfit is only the tip of the iceberg. There’s hair style, hair color, makeup, shoes, necklaces, earrings, handbags, and outerwear. Did I miss anything? It seems like it would be a full-time hobby just to keep up with everything.

Imagine what it must cost us every year to keep up… and I doubt that most of us even spend the kind of money that I’m speaking about.  Make an estimate of what you spend in an average year on the Christmas party dress, new work clothes, fashionable hair style, and everything else and I bet you could almost take a trip somewhere for the same amount of money!

There was a Sex and the City episode where Carry tries to buy her apartment, but realizes that she’s spent all her money on shoes. She has hundred’s of thousands of dollars worth of shoes and as a result she now lacks any kind of net worth, can’t buy her precious apartment. This is the high price of fashion. It’s not the actual cost in dollars, it’s the opportunity cost that is lost when you spend your money on it. For the price of two Manolo’s, I could redo my bathroom and increase the value of my home $5,000! For the price of two Manolo’s, I could take my kids to Hawaii! Of course, I don’t actually have that kind of money, but you see my point. Fashion can sometimes end up costing you much more than just the green stuff.

Since I have neither the time nor the money to keep up with the rat race of fashion, I am terminally uncool. You’ll find me most days in some version of a t-shirt and jeans. And ya know… that’s ok with me.

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