If you’re single, then chances are you’re well aware of your own finances. If you’re married or in a long-term relationship though, do you feel comfortably aware of where you are financially? Women in relationships often allow the financial aspects of their lives to be taken over by their significant others. This can seem like a sweet deal, really. He pays the bills, takes care of the mortgage and our investments and you go shopping! In the short term, maybe it is a good deal, but long term you could be setting yourself up for a nasty wake-up call.

I love my Mother to death- wouldn’t trade her for the world- but I also wouldn’t want to be in her shoes. My Mom has the setup described above, and for the most part she loves it. The thing is, if something happened with her marriage or even with her husband’s health, what would happen to her? Chances are she would be fine, but the real problem lies in the fact that she has NO IDEA if she would be or not. She has no idea what he does with the money, if the house is paid off, or even where their investments are! That to me is a scary situation. Maybe I’m a control freak, but there’s no way I’m going to work hard to earn a living and then let someone else determine my livelihood. Running through the McDonald’s drive-thru might be far easier than cooking a healthy meal, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Letting someone else handle your finances without being involved is no different.

Sometimes, regaining control of your finances can be tricky if you’ve already handed the reins over. If this is the case, try something diplomatic; suggest you go together to see a financial adviser someone recommended to you. Just going there together will allow you to get “current” on your financial affairs. Additionally, you can explain that someone you know was talking about their investments and you realized you didn’t know enough about your own to have a conversation. Explain you just want to learn about the things that are going on financially in the marriage or union. No harm, no foul. Soon, the more you know the more you’ll care about keeping your fingers in the cookie jar and he’ll just have to get used to it.

Another important thing to do is to get your own account. Your own credit card. Sometimes women don’t just allow all the finances to be taken care of, but they also give up their ability to have a credit history. If you don’t have things in your own name, don’t expect to have lenders offering up loans and services to you should you ever need them. Keep your credit current by opening up a couple accounts separate from your married ones.

There are also plenty of financially-related groups out there now specific to women. Some are online, but there are plenty of local ones as well. Do some searching and find a group of women that are taking charge of their finances to lend support and also teach you.

Good places to start:

• Blueprint for Financial Prosperity is loaded with articles on everything from saving money to investing it.
• Want to get some good advice about getting out of debt? No Credit Needed can get you started on the right track.
• Smartmoney has information on stocks, retirement, debt management and more.
• Here’s a great girl blog on how to be Frugal for Life.
• Follow Mapgirl’s quest for financial prosperity on her Fiscal Challenge blog.
• The Motley Fool is a great educational resource; it has lots of calculators and tips on how to make some life changing decisions about your finances.

Happy Friday… and happy financial independence to us all!

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