What happened in our recent “evolution”  to cause us not only to expect things now, but to feel like we can’t survive if we have to wait for good things to come to us? Instant Gratification. I suffer from it and it’s something that I’m always fighting with because I realize how much disharmony is created in my life because of it.

It happens with everything.. for most of us, right? I mean, you see something you want, you have to have it now. Maybe it’s a car you can’t quite afford. No problem. I’ll just finance! Maybe it’s a dream job. Because some of us don’t have it NOW, we spend endless amounts of time complaining about the job we do have. Or we jump from job to job without thinking things through. Maybe it’s the need to be skinny-minny. The diet-pill market is flourishing because of our inability to set a goal and work towards it. That’s the problem. It’s the idea that we shouldn’t have to work for it. We just want it now. We don’t want to have to save money, or exercise everyday, or work hard at our jobs and learn the skills we’ll need for that dream job. No way! We want it NOW.

I’ve mentioned before my feelings about the consumerism and commercialism in the world today and how it teaches us to think this way. It’s advantageous for them if we think we can get everything we want without effort or cost. Problem is, our instant gratification which must be satiated, only ends up hurting us and our long term goals in the process.

I personally, am not sure that I’m in a career situation where I want to be long term; however, I also know there a multitude of skills that I can acquire where I’m at. If I were to be upset, anxious, and bitchy over the fact that I’m not in my dream job I then sabotage my ability to improve myself now. Similarly, if I rush out and take the first job I find that’s different than the one I’m in, I have no idea what I’m getting. In the end, trying to achieve that dream job NOW sabotage’s my ability to go out and get it later. Same with the dieter. No matter how many pills and potions you try, none of them really work or we would all be skinny. That said, taking all those things only serve to reinforce in the dieter’s mind that he/she doesn’t really have to eat right and exercise to lose weight. In the end, it sabotage’s the possibility for progress which will not only provide results, but teach proper habits.

So, while I recognize the problem, and I have my own opinion about how we got here, that leaves me with the question of How do we Get Out of this? Because this has been something that I have been thinking about often for a long time, I will tell you that there are some things that I try to ask myself to re-train myself not to think this way. Instead of Instant Gratification, I think of it as Mindful Achievement; obtaining something you want in life through mindful planning and presence; you know, working towards something.

1. I am spoiled. I have everything I could ever possibly need and more. Chances are, you’re just like me if you have internet and can read this! Put yourself in some perspective and think about people in other places in the world without clean drinking water, food, shelter and electricity. Kinda makes that second ipod (”I have a 4 gb, but an 8gb sure would be nice) seem a little less important, right?
2. What are my goals in life? Remind yourself what is truly important to you. This may be world peace, it may be your morning espresso. Whatever it is, be sure that you know what those things are so that when the itch to have anything NOW arises, you can easily assess whether or not it is part of those goals. If it isn’t, then it’s a lot easier to just plain walk away from it.
3. Do I really want/need that? If the answer is yes, then what is the best approach to obtain it? Maybe it’s saving up money, maybe it’s doing some research on nutrition. Whatever the case may be, make a plan.
4. What is the Personal Cost to me if I decide that I can’t wait to have this? For example, buying something you can’t afford because you don’t want to wait and save up for it means you’ll be paying interest. Maybe you quit a good, secure job for something different (but not quite right) because you thought it would resolve your restlessness in your career, only to realize that you traded job security for a career question mark. Force yourself to see that there is a down-side to instant gratification. While you’re at it, think about how great it will feel to achieve something without looking for the “easy way”.
5. Instant Gratification is Temporary! I won’t deny, it can be a great feeling when you get something that you want so badly… it’s almost a rush if you allow yourself to believe you need it. Problem is, that rush fades away. Quite often, you’re left with something you hadn’t thought of. A loan you can’t afford, pills that make you sick, or a job that isn’t what you had in mind.

Change is never easy. It takes constant presence and awareness to prevent your brain from falling into familiar patterns. Finding ways to achieve the goals you want without the added costs that come with having to obtain something NOW will reward you with time, money, patience, and pride. Once you’ve stepped through the process a few times, and felt the reward of mindful achievement, you won’t want to go back.

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So, what do you do when you feel like there are too many things on your plate? I am continually plagued by this problem; just not enough hours in the day to get everything done. Typically, the best thing you can do is simplify. Get rid of the things you’re doing that aren’t bringing you joy and stick with the good stuff. In real life though, that isn’t very realistic. For myself, I do “too” much because the only way to simplify my life right now would be to get rid of the things that I enjoy- this blog, for instance.

Here are some other ideas that might help you to simplify a little bit, and start recharging, rather than running around on empty.

1. Run a diagnostic on your habits. Maybe TV brings you joy, but do you know exactly how much time you’re dedicating to it? Spend the next 7 days tallying up how much time you spend watching the tube. I bet you’ll discover a few hours in there that you might be able to let go of. Instead of getting rid of it completely, give up an hour or two… or more! Do the same thing if you’re an internet junkie.
2. Be a 40-hour a week person. I’m sure there are many out there who work more than a 40-hour week; for me it is sometimes not an option. The problem is that once you’ve done it once or twice, it can become a bad habit… especially if you’re not getting paid for those hours. For the next two weeks. Work your 40 hours and stop. All of us can find ways of being more efficient at work, I assure you. Not only will you find more time during the week, but likely the weekends will feel like vacations if you’re used to bringing work home.
3. Dial-in your chores. I am terrible about this. I will go to the grocery store three times in one week because I hate buying everything at once and I worry about fresh fruits and veggies going bad. The thing is, how much time do I waste in a week going three times instead of just once? Take the time to organize the things you do each week (grocery shopping, house cleaning, etc.) and you’ll be surprised and the amount of time you can save without cutting any corners.
4. Got kids? I’m not suggesting that you play with child labor laws or anything like that, but if you have kids, give them some responsibilities at home! It won’t hurt them, I promise. It’ll probably help them in the long run. My oldest son feeds our dog in the morning, cleans his room every Saturday and cleans the upstairs bathroom as well (he’s also pretty damn good at making lattes for me too). He gets an allowance, so everyone is happy. Ask your kids to take out the trash or to do the dishes after dinner. Even shaving off 15 minutes can make a difference.
5. What do you really have to do? Sometimes the end of my weekend comes and I realize that I spent the entire two days running around like a crazy person. Why? Did I really need to do all of those things? I’ve realized that sometimes I have to make myself stop running. I try to make Sunday my anything goes day. It’s my day to skydive, watch football, hike, or stay in bed all day if that’s what I want to do (assuming the kids are with their Dad of course). It also motivates me to get the truly important stuff done on Saturday. Sometimes the only thing keeping us busy is ourselves.

If none of these work for you, then you might be lucky enough to live where there is daylight savings… I can promise you an “extra” hour is coming your way in the near future.

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All animals in nature do it; they prepare for the long winter by getting their home or den ready and then settle in until spring comes. We typically talk about spring cleaning- the time to cleanup our lives after the long winter. But, what if we were to prepare a little bit before the change of season? Maybe spring cleaning wouldn’t be such a chore, and winter would be a little nicer. Winter is often when we spend the most time at home and I find that getting organized beforehand often makes winter more enjoyable. Here are some things that I do to get myself ready.

• Take time to Give. This doesn’t just help create space and organization, but it helps other’s too. This is the time of year that I go through the closets and find everything that I know I’m either not going to wear this winter, or won’t want to keep around for next summer. I go through my closet, and then I go through all the kids clothes too, since they’re always outgrowing things. I also look for toys and gadgets and anything that I haven’t used in a while. Another great place to look for things is in your storage areas (i.e. your basement or storage shed). My general rule of thumb is if I haven’t taken the box out in the last year, I don’t need it. Once everything is piled up in boxes I load up my car and take them to my nearest charity. Did I mention that the timing of this gives you an added bonus? I collect receipts for the things I give and then deduct it from my taxes.
• File Away! This is a good time to get your bills and filing in order. I am what’s known as a stacker. I have stacks everywhere. I generally stack all summer, and while I know where everything is, the stacks will get out of control if I don’t do something with them. Every fall (ans spring), I sit down with my files and bill stubs and I put them all away. I get rid of the older stuff (say, more than a year or two old) and put all the new stuff in it’s place. Suddenly, my desk is clear, the bill box is empty (a particularly good feeling, even if it’s only psychological!), and I’ve got my finances nice and organized.
• Dump Your Pack Rat Tendency. When it comes to animals in nature, it makes sense to stash food everywhere so that they can make it through the winter. It doesn’t make much sense for us, though. Take a look in your cabinets. I bet there are a bunch of food items that have been in there so long there’s dust on them. Now’s the time to find the old, smooshed bags of Ramen noodles, the 2-year old pasta boxes, and rock-hard raisins and get rid of them! Canned veggies and soups are always good to keep, but even they have a “best by” date. Check and make sure they aren’t from 2003.
• Somebody’s Gotta Do It. The refrigerator is my least favorite thing to clean. I have kids, so they spill juice from time to time, or leave a yogurt half eaten in the way back of the fridge, and so I must admit, my fridge is probably grosser than most. I take everything out, throw away the obvious (i.e. long lost cheese from last spring… YUCK and those year-old condiments) and then I wipe everything down. I am usually pretty surprised at what I find in there, and truth be told, I should be doing this far more often. Once all the stuff I want to keep goes back in, I realize I don’t have nearly as much food as I thought.
• Pick Your Favorites. All of us girls have impressive collections in the bathroom of different potions and tonics and makeup that we bought once upon a time. It’s hard to get rid of them because what if someday that lotion we used once and then shoved underneath the sink comes in handy again? Here’s why we should get rid of them. It will be in our nature to continue to acquire the newest scents and the newest makeup. If we don’t get rid of the old, we can’t make room for the new! Go through your medicine cabinets and sink drawers and ask yourself if you’re really going to use that sparkly lotion you bought from Victoria’s Secret 8 years ago. Keep all your favorites, but be honest about the stuff you don’t use. This is also a good time to get rid of old medicine that has passed it’s expiration date.
• Wash, Wash, Wash. I always get ready for winter by dragging out all the blankets and washing them so they’re fresh, fuzzy and super-cuddly. I must admit, I have some sort of blanket-fetish problem which I can’t explain, so there are dozens of blankets floating around our house in the winter. But blankets aren’t the only things that need to be refreshed. Winter jackets, hats, scarfs, etc. will all be significantly nicer to wear if they’re freshly washed.
• The Big Stuff. Everyone has they’re own preferred time for doing this stuff. But, the carpets, walls and windows are the final thing that I try to tackle before winter. I do the carpets myself, and the walls I have found can be tackled easily with some of those cleaning wipes that come in a canister and a “magic eraser”. It’s amazing how much dirt is on your walls. You don’t notice in daily life, but once you start washing, thousands of little finger marks and peanut butter smears suddenly become visible. I don’t wash my outside windows in the fall, but the inside windows get pretty bad from all the summer air breezing through the screens.

This seems like a lot, but you’ll find winter to be far more enjoyable, and in many ways spring will be better too, because you won’t have quite as much to be done. What are your favorite ways to get ready for winter? Got any good tips to share?

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