Too many of us chug away in our daily lives, waiting for that “moment” that will force our hand to make a change that we desperately need. We think, “I can’t quit my job because..”, or “I can’t dive into this new hobby because…”. How about this one, “Once X happens, I’ll be able to do Y”. Any of these sound familiar? They are to me, because I am a master of telling myself all of these things.

What’s important to remember, that every time you use this mode of thinking, you’re not driving your car. You are not in control of the life you are living. Maybe its simply chance that is controlling your life, maybe its your job or your family, but it isn’t you.

Being the Driver of your life means making choices, based upon what you want out of life. Maybe you don’t know what you want. That was my problem for years. Because I wasn’t sure what path I wanted to take, I used the excuse of having to support my family to stay in a job that didn’t make me happy. I told myself I didn’t have time to make any changes, and so I stayed plugged into a system that was bad for me… my life, my soul, my joy.

Sure, being the passenger means that you don’t have to do much. You can pay little or no attention to the road and the direction you’re headed. Problem is, you have no say in where you’re going and where you’ll end up. Since in real life (outside of the driving analogy) there isn’t another “person” driving the car, you’re essentially allowing the vehicle of your life to wander around with absolutely no direction. If you’re unhappy, going in a direction you don’t like, or feel like you’ve lost what the whole “point” was to your life, you need to stop the car, get out and get behind the wheel.

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Here’s where I would start:

• Get yourself a book or some kind of guide to start the process of thinking about what is important to you. What do you value in life, what brings you the most joy?
• Figure out what aspects of your life bring you the least amount of joy. For me, it was sitting in an office by myself all day with no human interaction and zero movement.
• Now, outline what parts of your life apply to the “bringing you joy” department and figure out how you can build off of them. If you like to garden, figure out how you can do that more, either as a volunteer somewhere or as a part-time job, for example.
• As for the things that are not bringing you joy, how can you eliminate them from your life? Can you quit your job? Seek therapy for a bad relationship? Whatever the case may be, make a plan for how you can leave that aspect of your life in the dust.
• Make a 5-year plan. There are good books out there to help you. The 5-year plan should include not just career goals or relationship goals, but goals related to your health, fitness, finances, and hobbies.

Next time you find yourself thinking that you’ll “just wait until…” or “I can’t do this now because…”, remind yourself that you are sitting in the passenger seat. Then, move the #!&% over and start driving!

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