Sometimes the hardest part of my day is reminding myself of the present. Probably the most important thing any of us can do is be present in our lives. But that proves always to be easier said than done.

I suspect in simpler times, it was much easier; everything we did had a direct effect on our survival. Everything we did was effecting the present. Now, we don’t hunt for our food, run from predators, or find emergency shelter during a storm. We go to work, sit in cubes, surf the internet. There is little reason for our minds to stay present; after all, we know that we’ll be sitting in that space for the next eight hours and that nothing of any consequence is likely to happen. Now, our minds are free to wander. Free to think about what we’ll do tomorrow. Encouraged to think about what we want for our lives in the next five years, ten years, after retirement.

But, if we’re living in our thoughts of tomorrow, then who is taking charge of our lives right now? Who is driving? Unconsciousness is driving. Unconsciousness in drivers seat of the present means that choices get made (or don’t get made) at a time when they actually matter, but you’re not there to oversee the changes that are (or aren’t) occurring.

The choices we make in the present, effect what happens to us tomorrow. Our ability to effect and change tomorrow depends on what we do in the present. It is simply a matter of seeing that tomorrow and five years from now does not exist. Yesterday does not exist. They are simply concepts and moments of present that have already passed us by or have yet to occur. When tomorrow comes, will we not see that we are living in it? Will we be sitting around thinking about the next tomorrow?

Living in the present means accepting the current moment just as it is. Making the best of the moment, regardless of where it is or what you’re doing. Sometimes, it may bring us to the realization that the present is not making us happy, but that gives us the chance to actually effect what our tomorrow will be, right?

If we are unconscious in the present, then when the tomorrow we are planning for becomes the present, we will be no more conscious than we were yesterday, for we will still be thinking about tomorrow. The present is the only place to make change a reality. Tomorrow will always be a concept in our minds of which we cannot impact unless we turn our attention to now.

So, take a moment every day to practice recognizing the moment. Remind yourself this it is real and tomorrow is not! It is a difficult practice, very difficult because we are all so well versed in thinking ahead.

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What happened in our recent “evolution”  to cause us not only to expect things now, but to feel like we can’t survive if we have to wait for good things to come to us? Instant Gratification. I suffer from it and it’s something that I’m always fighting with because I realize how much disharmony is created in my life because of it.

It happens with everything.. for most of us, right? I mean, you see something you want, you have to have it now. Maybe it’s a car you can’t quite afford. No problem. I’ll just finance! Maybe it’s a dream job. Because some of us don’t have it NOW, we spend endless amounts of time complaining about the job we do have. Or we jump from job to job without thinking things through. Maybe it’s the need to be skinny-minny. The diet-pill market is flourishing because of our inability to set a goal and work towards it. That’s the problem. It’s the idea that we shouldn’t have to work for it. We just want it now. We don’t want to have to save money, or exercise everyday, or work hard at our jobs and learn the skills we’ll need for that dream job. No way! We want it NOW.

I’ve mentioned before my feelings about the consumerism and commercialism in the world today and how it teaches us to think this way. It’s advantageous for them if we think we can get everything we want without effort or cost. Problem is, our instant gratification which must be satiated, only ends up hurting us and our long term goals in the process.

I personally, am not sure that I’m in a career situation where I want to be long term; however, I also know there a multitude of skills that I can acquire where I’m at. If I were to be upset, anxious, and bitchy over the fact that I’m not in my dream job I then sabotage my ability to improve myself now. Similarly, if I rush out and take the first job I find that’s different than the one I’m in, I have no idea what I’m getting. In the end, trying to achieve that dream job NOW sabotage’s my ability to go out and get it later. Same with the dieter. No matter how many pills and potions you try, none of them really work or we would all be skinny. That said, taking all those things only serve to reinforce in the dieter’s mind that he/she doesn’t really have to eat right and exercise to lose weight. In the end, it sabotage’s the possibility for progress which will not only provide results, but teach proper habits.

So, while I recognize the problem, and I have my own opinion about how we got here, that leaves me with the question of How do we Get Out of this? Because this has been something that I have been thinking about often for a long time, I will tell you that there are some things that I try to ask myself to re-train myself not to think this way. Instead of Instant Gratification, I think of it as Mindful Achievement; obtaining something you want in life through mindful planning and presence; you know, working towards something.

1. I am spoiled. I have everything I could ever possibly need and more. Chances are, you’re just like me if you have internet and can read this! Put yourself in some perspective and think about people in other places in the world without clean drinking water, food, shelter and electricity. Kinda makes that second ipod (”I have a 4 gb, but an 8gb sure would be nice) seem a little less important, right?
2. What are my goals in life? Remind yourself what is truly important to you. This may be world peace, it may be your morning espresso. Whatever it is, be sure that you know what those things are so that when the itch to have anything NOW arises, you can easily assess whether or not it is part of those goals. If it isn’t, then it’s a lot easier to just plain walk away from it.
3. Do I really want/need that? If the answer is yes, then what is the best approach to obtain it? Maybe it’s saving up money, maybe it’s doing some research on nutrition. Whatever the case may be, make a plan.
4. What is the Personal Cost to me if I decide that I can’t wait to have this? For example, buying something you can’t afford because you don’t want to wait and save up for it means you’ll be paying interest. Maybe you quit a good, secure job for something different (but not quite right) because you thought it would resolve your restlessness in your career, only to realize that you traded job security for a career question mark. Force yourself to see that there is a down-side to instant gratification. While you’re at it, think about how great it will feel to achieve something without looking for the “easy way”.
5. Instant Gratification is Temporary! I won’t deny, it can be a great feeling when you get something that you want so badly… it’s almost a rush if you allow yourself to believe you need it. Problem is, that rush fades away. Quite often, you’re left with something you hadn’t thought of. A loan you can’t afford, pills that make you sick, or a job that isn’t what you had in mind.

Change is never easy. It takes constant presence and awareness to prevent your brain from falling into familiar patterns. Finding ways to achieve the goals you want without the added costs that come with having to obtain something NOW will reward you with time, money, patience, and pride. Once you’ve stepped through the process a few times, and felt the reward of mindful achievement, you won’t want to go back.

Image from: http://www.conciseguidelines.com

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While I am sure there will be things of more substance than this to write about in the future, I have to say that I have been gone from this place too long. Of course I still have a million things zipping through my Google Reader everyday; I am still fully entrenched in the blog world; I just haven’t been contributing for a while. I was (and still am) having a little bit of an identity crisis.

I know why I blog and why I read them. I want to feel connected and understood. That is to say, I am looking for ideas and connections with people to help me achieve my personal growth goals in life. So, I found myself asking “how can I blog and contribute the very thing I am myself looking for”? I felt a little bit like the “man behind the curtain” because many days I sat down to blog and felt completely lost in the craziness of life. I myself was (and will always be) a work in progress. What occurred to me though is that is the perpetual motion of personal growth. No self-respecting personal growth enthusiast, writer or reader could say they were an “expert” on the subject, because the very idea of person improvement is a life-long continuous process.

So, I have stayed away from writing because I simply did not know what to write about anymore. That said, I find my fingers itch to write and to be a contributor again. So tonight, I’m writing just to be here; a contributing (albeit ranting) member of the blogosphere. I suppose that the things that are most on my mind these days are the things that are most worth writing about; in life we are all connected and maybe the things that I struggle with can help others find the same answers to life that I seek.

I once wrote a post about making life changes when you’re in a “rut”.Although it is one of my favorite posts and I feel very connected to it, I recently awoke from my sleepwalking life to find myself in a rut. It happens to me when I get too busy with all the bullshit of everyday life to remember the bigger picture of, “how can I be a better person every day?”. And, naturally, I get so busy with everyday life (what am I going to feed the boys for dinner? Do I have time to go to the gym? Did my son get his homework done?) that I  am not ever present enough in the moment to realize it. So, I guess that is what I want to write about. How I can grow and change and find a way to be a better person today than I was yesterday. A better Mother, friend, sister, daughter, employee, lover and human being? That is the ultimate journey of my life.

So, I expect I will find myself here much more often, spewing out ideas and thoughts. It’s not answers to life that I wish to provide here, but rather a sounding board that can initiate that answers to come from anyone who reads this blog.

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The birds are singing, the sun is shining… what a glorious day to be alive! How often do you feel like that when you wake up? To be truthful, I don’t say or feel that way nearly enough. Most work days begin with this thought for me: “Shit. I have to get up”. Not a very productive way to start a morning. Yeah, maybe work sucks, but if you open up the scope of your life and focus on everything that’s around you, your attitude can change.

Let’s take my example above. What happens when you wake up and immediately think of what’s wrong with your day? Maybe you rush to get showered and out the door so you can get to work. Your irritable, easily frustrated and just generally dumpy. From the get go, you have set yourself up to think about and therefore notice all aspects of your day that are not… divine. By the time you get off work, you’re exhausted and tired and- well, still dumpy. So, you go home and instead of having the energy to do things that would add joy to your life you end up sitting on the couch with a bag of Frito’s watching TV.

What about the reverse? You wake up, look outside and realize it’s absolutely beautiful (even bad weather can be beautiful). Maybe you think about how lucky you are to have a nice place to live, a steady job, great kids, or just the fact that you get to be alive today… whatever it is, this feeling of being grateful and happy means that you will spend your day noticing and appreciating all that’s right in your life. Driving to work isn’t frustrating because you refuse to let crazy drivers and traffic ruin a good mood. This good mood increases efficiency to the point that you end the day feeling really satisfied with what you accomplished. The workday comes to a close and you drive home energized and excited that now it’s your time. For some of us, we go to the gym or meet up with friends. In any case, the positive attitude you woke up with carries you through the day.

The point I’m making here is that everything is attitude! The two hypothetical days were the same day. The same bad and good things happened. The only difference is perception. In one case you wake up in a bad mood, and that bad mood inevitably sets you up to see all the negative aspects of that day. Conversely, waking up happy just to be alive puts you in a frame of mind to see the good in your life. This is the first step towards making lasting change in your life. How can you accomplish anything when you feel bad? If you’re drained and tired and dumpy, the motivation is not there to go above and beyond your current situation to create a new one. You can read personal development blogs and books all you want, but reading won’t make the change happen. Your attitude will.

For me, real change requires inspiration. A lack of positivity in my life creates the opposite of growth. The happier I am, and the better my attitude is at the start of the day, the better my day goes and the more I accomplish. This is what I believe is the most important aspect of personal development. It all begins with the first 10 minutes of your day. It’s your choice to make your day great, just as it is your choice to be dumpy. Remember that the next time your alarm goes off. Here are some suggestions to get you moving towards a positive attitude in the morning:

• Open your blinds before you go to bed. That way when you wake up, the sun is shining in your room. Even if you don’t take a moment to look outside, natural light has a way of making a day feel brighter and more cheerful.
• Write down the three things you are most grateful for in your life. Post those three things somewhere you’ll be each morning. Could be your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator. When you pass by the list, read it aloud to yourself. Eventually you’ll begin to think of other things and you won’t need a list. I try to run through my gratitude list every morning while I shower.
• Get up an hour early. At first, this sucks… I admit. That said, having an hour to get ready and eat breakfast without rushing around is a far more relaxing way to start your morning.
• Music, Music, Music. If you have an alarm that you can play CD’s, great. If you don’t, consider getting one. Or get an alarm for your iPOD. There’s nothing like waking up to your favorite song; a song that makes you want to dance or sing. If this isn’t an option for you, try setting your alarm for the radio on your favorite station.

Making your first 10 minutes the most important time of your day each morning WILL make a difference in your life. The more days you do it, the easier it gets to wake up already with the right mindset.

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I love traveling. If I could make a career out of it I would. Unfortunately, I have yet to come up with a way to enjoy a career of travel while still enjoying a career of motherhood. Most of us I think tend to get away for a week here or there. Sometimes though it can be hard to get away for that long. Maybe it’s money, time at work- whatever. The fact is though, there is a good reason to get away. We all need it for our sanity. So, what about just a weekend getaway? I am big on weekend traveling. Love it. I am fortunate to live in Colorado, because just an hour or two driving west from where I live dumps me in the heart of the Rocky Mountains where I can camp, boat/water ski, hike, rock climb, snowboard, etc. This weekend I’m traveling to Salida, CO. It’s an “old west” town with a penchant for music, art and outdoor sports. It’s so nice there. My excitement this morning got me thinking, everyone should do this! It’s just a weekend, so it’s doable for nearly everyone. Here are my top ten reasons to get away for the weekend:

1. Change of Scenery. Ruts are bad. They stomp on our spirit and cause mindless droning for weeks at a time. A quick and cheap weekend trip can be awakening and refreshing. Break out of your rut!
2. Exploration. I myself can tell you that of all the cool places to visit in Colorado, I have probably not scratched the surface. So many of us think of a vacation as leaving the place we live… so naturally, we go far. As far as we think is necessary to feel as though we are free from our life. In doing so, we skip right over all kinds of great places. Do some searching on the internet about your state or region. I bet you’ll find some great places to explore. I always figure for a weekend trip, a 4 hour drive is no big deal, and if it’s something supercool, then a 6-hour drive is ok, too.
3. Budget-friendly. Yep. There’s nothing better than a vacation that is kind to your pocketbook. This weekend for instance, I will pay only for gas and food (my sister lives in Salida). Next weekend I’m taking my kids to a hot springs town where we will soak and eat ice cream and drink coffee and repeat. That trip will cost me less than $250, and that’s including the hotel. You can’t beat weekend getaways when it comes to cost.
4. No Time off Work. Taking a weekend trip saves you time off from work. In turn this can allow you save up your time for a bigger trip later.
5. Fewer Mental Health Days. Anytime I’m feeling overloaded, tired, or frustrated about my job, I take a “mental health day”. I consider it to be a valuable tool towards keeping me on-track and motivated at my job. Taking weekend trips seriously reduces the number of “mental health days” I need to function. This in turn also helps with number 4: saving time off for the BIG trip.
6. Education. Any trip away from home is a chance to learn. Whether it’s about yourself, history, geography, or something else, you learn. The more stagnant and routine our life, the less our body takes in and absorbs. I mean lets face it, if your weekend is currently a regimented two-day shopping and eating spree, what have you left to learn from it? Do something different!
7. Variety. The cool thing about quick trips is the variety of things you can do. A full length vacation requires planning so that you can do this and that, and go here and there. With a weekend trip, you pick one thing, and then each time you a take the weekend to travel you pick something else. It great. Here’s an example of the various things I could do here, all within a four-hour drive (some of them I have yet to do). Camping, stay at one of the Hot Springs, tour the Anasazi Indian ruins, go four-wheeling in the sand dunes, stay in a fancy hotel at a ski resort and ski/snowboard, rent a cabin the middle of nowhere and be a hermit, find a Ghost Town, or visit the vineyards on the west side of the state for a weekend wine tasting adventure. I’m sure there are even more things I could do.
8. Kids. OK, so maybe you don’t have any. For those of us that do, weekend trips are by far the best way to go. It’s long enough for them to learn and play and build great memories, but not so long that they get cranky and over-stimulated. A weekend trip geared towards kids can be fun even for parents. Our annual fall hot springs trip is something I look forward to all year long.
9. Purpose. Sometimes I get caught up in the “why” of life. Why am I doing this day-in and day-out? What’s the point? It’s easy to feel like your putting into life more than you’re getting out if you only really getaway once a year. Weekend trips are great reminders of what you can do in your life… they can answer the “why”.
10. Your health. I do believe whole-heartedly that weekend getaways can improve your health. Health is so much a part of your attitude. And sometimes the best fix for your attitude to run away from your life. Even if it’s only two days.

SO there you have it; as if you needed 10 reasons to take a weekend trip! Do some searching and find something that’s not to far from where you live (but still far enough away for it to feel “foreign”), pick an activity and then jump in your car on Friday afternoon. I truly value my little getaways, and I think everyone should incorporate them into their life. Happy Friday….

**Photo of Pagosa Springs, CO.

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