I know why I blog and why I read them. I want to feel connected and understood. That is to say, I am looking for ideas and connections with people to help me achieve my personal growth goals in life. So, I found myself asking “how can I blog and contribute the very thing I am myself looking for”? I felt a little bit like the “man behind the curtain” because many days I sat down to blog and felt completely lost in the craziness of life. I myself was (and will always be) a work in progress. What occurred to me though is that is the perpetual motion of personal growth. No self-respecting personal growth enthusiast, writer or reader could say they were an “expert” on the subject, because the very idea of person improvement is a life-long continuous process.

So, I have stayed away from writing because I simply did not know what to write about anymore. That said, I find my fingers itch to write and to be a contributor again. So tonight, I’m writing just to be here; a contributing (albeit ranting) member of the blogosphere. I suppose that the things that are most on my mind these days are the things that are most worth writing about; in life we are all connected and maybe the things that I struggle with can help others find the same answers to life that I seek.

I once wrote a post about making life changes when you’re in a “rut”.Although it is one of my favorite posts and I feel very connected to it, I recently awoke from my sleepwalking life to find myself in a rut. It happens to me when I get too busy with all the bullshit of everyday life to remember the bigger picture of, “how can I be a better person every day?”. And, naturally, I get so busy with everyday life (what am I going to feed the boys for dinner? Do I have time to go to the gym? Did my son get his homework done?) that I  am not ever present enough in the moment to realize it. So, I guess that is what I want to write about. How I can grow and change and find a way to be a better person today than I was yesterday. A better Mother, friend, sister, daughter, employee, lover and human being? That is the ultimate journey of my life.

So, I expect I will find myself here much more often, spewing out ideas and thoughts. It’s not answers to life that I wish to provide here, but rather a sounding board that can initiate that answers to come from anyone who reads this blog.

Let’s take my example above. What happens when you wake up and immediately think of what’s wrong with your day? Maybe you rush to get showered and out the door so you can get to work. Your irritable, easily frustrated and just generally dumpy. From the get go, you have set yourself up to think about and therefore notice all aspects of your day that are not… divine. By the time you get off work, you’re exhausted and tired and- well, still dumpy. So, you go home and instead of having the energy to do things that would add joy to your life you end up sitting on the couch with a bag of Frito’s watching TV.

What about the reverse? You wake up, look outside and realize it’s absolutely beautiful (even bad weather can be beautiful). Maybe you think about how lucky you are to have a nice place to live, a steady job, great kids, or just the fact that you get to be alive today… whatever it is, this feeling of being grateful and happy means that you will spend your day noticing and appreciating all that’s right in your life. Driving to work isn’t frustrating because you refuse to let crazy drivers and traffic ruin a good mood. This good mood increases efficiency to the point that you end the day feeling really satisfied with what you accomplished. The workday comes to a close and you drive home energized and excited that now it’s your time. For some of us, we go to the gym or meet up with friends. In any case, the positive attitude you woke up with carries you through the day.

The point I’m making here is that everything is attitude! The two hypothetical days were the same day. The same bad and good things happened. The only difference is perception. In one case you wake up in a bad mood, and that bad mood inevitably sets you up to see all the negative aspects of that day. Conversely, waking up happy just to be alive puts you in a frame of mind to see the good in your life. This is the first step towards making lasting change in your life. How can you accomplish anything when you feel bad? If you’re drained and tired and dumpy, the motivation is not there to go above and beyond your current situation to create a new one. You can read personal development blogs and books all you want, but reading won’t make the change happen. Your attitude will.

For me, real change requires inspiration. A lack of positivity in my life creates the opposite of growth. The happier I am, and the better my attitude is at the start of the day, the better my day goes and the more I accomplish. This is what I believe is the most important aspect of personal development. It all begins with the first 10 minutes of your day. It’s your choice to make your day great, just as it is your choice to be dumpy. Remember that the next time your alarm goes off. Here are some suggestions to get you moving towards a positive attitude in the morning:

• Open your blinds before you go to bed. That way when you wake up, the sun is shining in your room. Even if you don’t take a moment to look outside, natural light has a way of making a day feel brighter and more cheerful.
• Write down the three things you are most grateful for in your life. Post those three things somewhere you’ll be each morning. Could be your bathroom mirror or your refrigerator. When you pass by the list, read it aloud to yourself. Eventually you’ll begin to think of other things and you won’t need a list. I try to run through my gratitude list every morning while I shower.
• Get up an hour early. At first, this sucks… I admit. That said, having an hour to get ready and eat breakfast without rushing around is a far more relaxing way to start your morning.
• Music, Music, Music. If you have an alarm that you can play CD’s, great. If you don’t, consider getting one. Or get an alarm for your iPOD. There’s nothing like waking up to your favorite song; a song that makes you want to dance or sing. If this isn’t an option for you, try setting your alarm for the radio on your favorite station.

Making your first 10 minutes the most important time of your day each morning WILL make a difference in your life. The more days you do it, the easier it gets to wake up already with the right mindset.

• Moisturize! Dry skin can be pretty uncomfortable, and when winter sets in it can only get worse. Cold air doesn’t hold moisture like warm air, so if you live in a temperate climate, the dry air exacerbates any dryness you’re already dealing with. Any lotion is great to put on everyday, but if you want a super moisture boost, try putting on something like Eucerin lotion after you shower but BEFORE you dry off. When you shower, the warm water opens up your pores. When you get out and dry off, you immediately start losing moisture through those open pores. If you put lotion on before you dry off and get out, you seal all that moisture in. The difference you’ll see doing this vs. just putting in on before bed is huge.
• Use Sunscreen. Most people are pretty good about wearing it on hot sunny days in the summer, but fail to realize that even cloudy days or sunny winter days can bring sun damage to your skin. In many cases, the winter months can be worse; depending where you are the ozone layer can be thinner in the winter, making the sun more intense. Buy yourself a face lotion that has a daily SPF in it; there are body lotions on the market now that also contain SPF- Alba makes a great one. You’ll never have to leave home without it!
• Don’t be picky. One of the best things you can do for yourself if you suffer from acne is leave it alone. Picking at your skin introduces a multitude of bacteria, only making it harder for your body to heal and get rid of the zit.
• Water. We all know this one, but it can be difficult to get in the habit. Start slow, and by a bottle that makes it easy for you to measure what you’re drinking. I buy 24oz disposal bottles even though I hate throwing them away. The reason? Each one is exactly 3 “glasses” of water. If I drink two I’m doing great. If I get to three- even better.
• Nutrition. Some people will tell you that chocolate or fried foods don’t have any effect on skin condition, but I whole heartedly disagree. I see it with my skin anytime I “relapse” and decide that I have to have something greasy and bad. I’ve been eating my kids Halloween candy this week, and I have a big ‘ol zit to show for it. Eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables can make a big difference, and there’s obviously a ton of other benefits to healthy eating.
• Rid your addiction to “products”. Look in a woman’s make-up drawer and your sure to find at least 25-30 different things we put on our bodies and faces. Lotion, base, powder, blush, eye liner, mascara, perfume, etc. Here’s what’s in my drawer that I actually use: a 15 SPF face lotion, mascara, and some Burt’s Bee’s lip balm. Sure I have all the other stuff, but I found once I stopped using all that crap, my skin condition improved and I didn’t actually need all that “cover up”. As far as perfume goes, find a aromatherapy soap that you love. I use something called Zumbar and I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve had about how nice I smell.
• Exfoliate. I love using a body scrub in the shower after I shave. Aromatherapy stuff is best for me, so I look for a salt or sugar scrub that’s usually in a grapeseed oil base. Getting rid of all the dead skin that’s hangin’ around helps your health skin to breath.
• Get your fatty acids! This is easier if you love fish, or live on the coast somewhere, but if neither is the case, try a good Omega supplement, add flaxseeds to your diet (I sometimes put them in my cereal or in some yogurt), or eat some walnuts.
• For anyone with a specific skin condition that requires special treatment, here are some great sites dedicated to skin health.
  • Dermatology Care has some great tips, as well as treatments for specific skin ailments.
  • The Skin articles and Tips at Pioneer Thinking has some great information on creating your own natural skin products.
  • Got Acne? Visit the Acne Care Tips blog…
  • Check out ScienceDaily’s skin care page for some great articles on a mutlitude of skin related topics.

Got any other tips for readers? Share them here! Here’s my Mom’s #1 tip for me about my skin: “Don’t forget to take care of your neck… especially the back of your neck“. I believe this is purely coming from an anti-wrinkle standpoint, but nevertheless, good tip Mom.

1. Change of Scenery. Ruts are bad. They stomp on our spirit and cause mindless droning for weeks at a time. A quick and cheap weekend trip can be awakening and refreshing. Break out of your rut!
2. Exploration. I myself can tell you that of all the cool places to visit in Colorado, I have probably not scratched the surface. So many of us think of a vacation as leaving the place we live… so naturally, we go far. As far as we think is necessary to feel as though we are free from our life. In doing so, we skip right over all kinds of great places. Do some searching on the internet about your state or region. I bet you’ll find some great places to explore. I always figure for a weekend trip, a 4 hour drive is no big deal, and if it’s something supercool, then a 6-hour drive is ok, too.
3. Budget-friendly. Yep. There’s nothing better than a vacation that is kind to your pocketbook. This weekend for instance, I will pay only for gas and food (my sister lives in Salida). Next weekend I’m taking my kids to a hot springs town where we will soak and eat ice cream and drink coffee and repeat. That trip will cost me less than $250, and that’s including the hotel. You can’t beat weekend getaways when it comes to cost.
4. No Time off Work. Taking a weekend trip saves you time off from work. In turn this can allow you save up your time for a bigger trip later.
5. Fewer Mental Health Days. Anytime I’m feeling overloaded, tired, or frustrated about my job, I take a “mental health day”. I consider it to be a valuable tool towards keeping me on-track and motivated at my job. Taking weekend trips seriously reduces the number of “mental health days” I need to function. This in turn also helps with number 4: saving time off for the BIG trip.
6. Education. Any trip away from home is a chance to learn. Whether it’s about yourself, history, geography, or something else, you learn. The more stagnant and routine our life, the less our body takes in and absorbs. I mean lets face it, if your weekend is currently a regimented two-day shopping and eating spree, what have you left to learn from it? Do something different!
7. Variety. The cool thing about quick trips is the variety of things you can do. A full length vacation requires planning so that you can do this and that, and go here and there. With a weekend trip, you pick one thing, and then each time you a take the weekend to travel you pick something else. It great. Here’s an example of the various things I could do here, all within a four-hour drive (some of them I have yet to do). Camping, stay at one of the Hot Springs, tour the Anasazi Indian ruins, go four-wheeling in the sand dunes, stay in a fancy hotel at a ski resort and ski/snowboard, rent a cabin the middle of nowhere and be a hermit, find a Ghost Town, or visit the vineyards on the west side of the state for a weekend wine tasting adventure. I’m sure there are even more things I could do.
8. Kids. OK, so maybe you don’t have any. For those of us that do, weekend trips are by far the best way to go. It’s long enough for them to learn and play and build great memories, but not so long that they get cranky and over-stimulated. A weekend trip geared towards kids can be fun even for parents. Our annual fall hot springs trip is something I look forward to all year long.
9. Purpose. Sometimes I get caught up in the “why” of life. Why am I doing this day-in and day-out? What’s the point? It’s easy to feel like your putting into life more than you’re getting out if you only really getaway once a year. Weekend trips are great reminders of what you can do in your life… they can answer the “why”.
10. Your health. I do believe whole-heartedly that weekend getaways can improve your health. Health is so much a part of your attitude. And sometimes the best fix for your attitude to run away from your life. Even if it’s only two days.

SO there you have it; as if you needed 10 reasons to take a weekend trip! Do some searching and find something that’s not to far from where you live (but still far enough away for it to feel “foreign”), pick an activity and then jump in your car on Friday afternoon. I truly value my little getaways, and I think everyone should incorporate them into their life. Happy Friday….

**Photo of Pagosa Springs, CO.

I would never claim to know what or how all women think, but most of the women I know are just like me; Forever fighting an ongoing struggle to be or look like someone we’re not. It’s a difficult habit to break too, because we are inundated with images that remind us of what we “should” look like.

In the last two weeks, I’ve started to become far more aware of how much energy it takes to worry about and think about my body image and the need to change it. Last week, my focus was on just not thinking about it any more. Eliminating it as a focus in my daily life was an incredible change. Until it was gone, I had no idea how much time I spent feeling guilty. I began to wonder how long I have been dieting, and I realized that since about 7th grade, I have never stopped. Yikes. Needless to say, it was an uplifting experience.

This week I have focused on acceptance. Realistically, I have always known in my heart that no matter how much fretting and dieting and worrying and anger and guilt I put on myself about my body, I’m never going to fit the American image of a woman. Personally, the older I get the less I want to. I don’t really want to weigh 80 pounds and walk around with my hip bones poking out of my jeans. This is something I think all women realize deep down somewhere that they are unique; the trick is being proud of the uniqueness rather than punishing yourself for it. Bringing it into your conscious thought is difficult though because we have years of programming that tells us we are unacceptable.

Here’s how I have changed my thinking. I remind myself in the morning that this is Me, and this body is mine. There’s a line from the movie The Secret that I often think about. It is the idea that our life today is a residual of our past actions and choices. I remind myself that while I accept myself today exactly as I am, I am also making choices today that will affect my tomorrow- that I am living today to improve my tomorrow. Making this daily assertion allows me to make proper, healthy decisions about my life; whether its about body image or attitude or something else.

In this way I have learned to think different- not just about my body and my body-image, but to also successfully believe what I’ve always known: that my body is what it is and getting caught in the trap of trying to be something akin to a Cosmo magazine is neither healthy nor realistic. You see, even though I knew this, there was programming going on in my brain that still made it difficult for me to truly believe. So, here I am today. I am less stressed out; I feel no guilt for eating a bowl of oatmeal in the morning; I spend almost no time thinking about food or dieting; I feel free.

Earlier this week, Goddess was tagged to participate in the Think Different Challenge by Peter at I Will Change Your Life. Visit Peter’s site for information on how to participate. I tag the following:

• Bloggrrl…
• Millionaire Mommy Next Door
• Scott H Young

So, here’s to thinking differently. Thanks to Peter at Iwillchangeyourlife.com for the great idea, too.